I used to be so sure of everything. As I get older I become less certain and more open to ideas and opinions I would have immediately rejected 15 years ago. I see this in other friends who are much younger than me, the arrogance and righteous indignation when you do not agree with them. It always makes me chuckle because that was me at one time. I wanted to save the world, and if you didn't you were an asshole.I still want to save people, only now I want to be paid a lot of money to do it. I also now recognize that some people are not capable of giving without it killing them and leaving an empty husk.
People should take the time to assess what they are good at, embrace it, revere it. Your talents are sometimes the only tools you have to survive.I have an ability to comfort people and make them laugh. It took me a long time to realize this is a talent and something I should be grateful for. I have a huge capacity to love and a lack of embarrassment in telling those I love how I feel. I have found this is actually pretty rare as my friends are sometimes astonished when I tell them I love them.
I have worked taking care of mentally challenged adults and when people would say oh, you are so good to do that, it would kind of weird me out. I enjoyed it and was good at it, end of story. These people I cared for were lovely, different and never boring. I can't say as much for a lot of mentally typical people I know.
I have held the hands of patients who were dying and I am able to do it with enough feeling to make it important, but enough distance so it does not turn me into a ball of jelly. This is my talent and my calling. I talk to people at work every day who are crying and grieving and it is so easy to give them a measure of kindness and sympathy instead of being a fucking drone and rattling off how they can cancel the account. Sometimes a small measure of kindness is the only thing that person will remember of that day.
I may not be an eloquent blogger, or a genius, but I know what I can do and I will try to become as good at it as I possibly can.
1 comment:
We are the assholes because we are viewed as selfish if we don't help.
What they don't realize is that everyone in this world is ultimately selfish.
Why do we like to help and take care of people? Because WE feel good doing it :))) And that is, by definition selfish. I am very happy to embrace my selfishness :)
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