Soothing Rituals

I was a little blue today and decided to get my nails filled. As I sat there I thought about what it is that makes me like being there. I am much quieter when I am there, because I hear the other customers and they seem like loud brash white people talking about me, me, me..as the girls smile and work on their feet and hands.

I enjoy the methodical clattering of the porcelain pots that hold the powders, the tap and swirl of the brushes, and the strong smell of the acetone. I watch as the petite Vietnamese woman use such precision to apply the acrylic and to paint it..it comforts me just to sink into my chair and I rarely talk there unless they ask me a question.

I love listening to the women speaking Vietnamese to each other..I can tell when they are fighting, or if they are making fun of someone. It is a girl's only place for the most part, and I enjoy listening to the teenagers chatter and the brides make plans..It is a perfect people watching venue.

Today I did not have the woman I usually do, but I know her because I have been going there for years. She smiled at me at one point and said, "they all like you here". I am not sure why she said it but it was sweet and reaffirmed why I enjoy going there so much.

Sometimes normal rituals make me feel connected and that is always affirming.

A letter for my boy

Baby Boy,

I have never loved anything in the whole world the way that I love you. Here is what I want for you.

I want you to always learn from your mistakes.

I want you to have compassion and forgiveness in your heart.

I want you to feel pride and self reliance and know that you can do anything you want if you try hard enough.

I want you to always know that I am here with my arms open to comfort you and love you unconditionally. Always know how very wanted you were and how cherished you are.

I want you to help others and in turn they will help you.

I want you to love

I want you to be loved

Understand your gift, the reason that teachers and student love you so much, that special sparkle and joy you have..it makes you different and very special.

Knowing your gifts will help you make the most of them and I want you to understand karma.