You either get it or you don't

there is no perfect life or perfect place to live,

there are fleeting moments and images, painful and sweet

noticing those notes, smells, tastes and remembering them

attempting to give good karma out into the world..not to achieve total consciousness
but because you just feel right doing so

moments of laughing, yelling, being rebellious and obnoxious,

having people that can hear you even when you won't talk

my own needs are so simple and my rules are too

I want to end each day knowing that if it was my last, my friends would know exactly how I feel about them

I can still be embarrased

I did not think it was possible to make me blush anymore. I used to work with severely mentally challenged adults who would steal coffee, drop trou in public, rip price tags off all the clothing in stores...I handled this all with aplomb.

My three year old daughter accompanied me to David's bridal where I had to be fitted for a bridesmaids dress. If you are familiar with this store when you try on dresses you walk into a public area that has mirrors covering the walls and platforms where you can stand and look at the gown.

As I came out each time in a new dress my daughter would exclaim "Mommy wearing red! Mommy wearing pink!"...after about the 6th gown I came out and stepped on podium next to 2 brides to be in wearing their beautiful potential dresses.

My three year old crowed

"Mommy! Where is your vagina?"...I ignored her and looked around nervously...so far brides ignoring me and her.

MOM WHERE DID YOUR VAGINA GO?

MOMMY IS YOUR VAGINA STILL HERE?

She grabs the gown and pulls it up and climbs under my dress...at this point all the sweet 20 something brides and their Moms are totally listening and looking out of the corners of their eyes at us.

I whisper desperately, "Honey it is still there, lets not talk about this now ok?"
She is quiet for a moment and smiles up at me.

I start to relax and she follows me into my changing room. I take off the gown and I am whispering to her. "Honey we need to be quiet in front of all the ladies ok?"

She decided this would be a good time to leave the changing room and flings the door open as I stand there in a bra and panties. She turns and looks at me and yells

"Mommy there is your vagina, and your tattoo!"


Nice...blushing as I see the fleeting glances of the horrified women ..I manage to dress quickly and grab my girl's hand and retreat from the store.

Viva La Drag Queen!

I saw a great Drag Cabaret Show in Boston last night.The over exaggeration of all that is feminine plus their long limbs and wide shoulders gives the drag queen a kind of fierce, in your face beauty.
They move their limbs in a liquid and sexual way, much more so than a girl would need to. Everything is amped up, color contacts, fake eyelashes,glitter, paint, red lips.
I resent the time it takes to apply my mascara. Every day I take my femininity for granted even when I am strident in my berks and hoodie.

It is obvious why certain female pop stars like Cher, Whitney, Brittany who emulate this exaggerated femininity are iconoclastic. One thing I am interested in is why heterosexual women love drag queens so much? I joked with my girlfriends about my confusing feelings when the Britney queen came by and kissed me. She was beautiful and seductive and fascinating.
We like their boldness, fearlessness and fashion exaggeration because we would never pull off those sequins and rock those stilettos like a 6 foot 5 drag queen can. I am now thinking that Gwen Stefani may actually be a drag queen.

Bad girls, bold girls, girls who are fierce and in your face! I realized as they all came out on the stage singing Lady Marmelade and all of the drunk girls were screaming along this is what we love about them…they are paying us the highest compliment that they possibly can and we love them right back!


Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir all my sisters and me!