Underneath it all

Sephora is girl heaven. I love walking in there and feeling that tingle as I see the walls lined with discs of colors, brushes and sponges beckoning my name. The scents lining the walls in all of their bejeweled splendor.

It is the same girlish thrill I would have when my Mom would take me to a store that sold earrings and barrettes as a little girl.

These adornments date back to Cleopatra, primitive and primal, we mark and enhance our features in order to seduce and procreate. The different tribes have different markings..it can also identify what social class you are in in a mere glance.

We may not squeeze ourselves into corsets anymore, but spanx, flatirons, lip plumpers and tooth whiteners are our new methods of torture.

Men generally say they prefer women who don't wear makeup..however I think that men just dont like a lot of makeup.

I think that letting your lover see you with a bare face and rumpled hair is a very imtimate thing. I associate putting makeup on with going to work, being professional.

When I scrub the makeup off the facade is over. I feel more vulnerable, more of me is showing.

Epigenetics rock my world!

Studying the neuropathology of the brain of someone with Autism shows definite aberrations in brain growth, nero patterning and cortical connections. Changes to the structure and function of synapses have also been seen in the pathology of autism in genetic and animal studies. Also, environmental factors are likely to interact with the underlying genetic profile, and foster the clinical heterogeneity seen in autism spectrum disorders. There seems to be little real medical focus as far as I can find in the medical community about the enviornmental triggers.

What does this mean? The three major parts of the brain that show aberrations and autism symptoms brain stem, cerebellum and corpus callesum.


The autism spectrum disorders are a complex group of behaviorally related disorders that are primarily genetic in origin. Involvement of epigenetic regulatory mechanisms in the pathogenesis of ASD has been suggested by the occurrence of ASD in patients with disorders arising from epigenetic mutations (fragile X syndrome) or that involve key epigenetic regulatory factors (Rett syndrome).

Larger datasets in genetics, a focus on the early signs of autism, and increased recognition of the importance of defining subgroups of children with autism are leading to a greater understanding of the etiologies of autism. A growing interest in defining the molecular biology of social cognition, which is at the core of autism, will lead to expansion of our presently limited choices of mechanistically based interventions.

I quote above 2 paragraphs from pub med.gov
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17919129?ordinalpos=1&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_DiscoveryPanel.Pubmed_Discovery_RA&linkpos=3&log$=relatedreviews&logdbfrom=pubmed

This is all important along with all of the sibling studies and new focuses on the social cognition could really get to the core of understanding autism.

Soothing Rituals

I was a little blue today and decided to get my nails filled. As I sat there I thought about what it is that makes me like being there. I am much quieter when I am there, because I hear the other customers and they seem like loud brash white people talking about me, me, me..as the girls smile and work on their feet and hands.

I enjoy the methodical clattering of the porcelain pots that hold the powders, the tap and swirl of the brushes, and the strong smell of the acetone. I watch as the petite Vietnamese woman use such precision to apply the acrylic and to paint it..it comforts me just to sink into my chair and I rarely talk there unless they ask me a question.

I love listening to the women speaking Vietnamese to each other..I can tell when they are fighting, or if they are making fun of someone. It is a girl's only place for the most part, and I enjoy listening to the teenagers chatter and the brides make plans..It is a perfect people watching venue.

Today I did not have the woman I usually do, but I know her because I have been going there for years. She smiled at me at one point and said, "they all like you here". I am not sure why she said it but it was sweet and reaffirmed why I enjoy going there so much.

Sometimes normal rituals make me feel connected and that is always affirming.

A letter for my boy

Baby Boy,

I have never loved anything in the whole world the way that I love you. Here is what I want for you.

I want you to always learn from your mistakes.

I want you to have compassion and forgiveness in your heart.

I want you to feel pride and self reliance and know that you can do anything you want if you try hard enough.

I want you to always know that I am here with my arms open to comfort you and love you unconditionally. Always know how very wanted you were and how cherished you are.

I want you to help others and in turn they will help you.

I want you to love

I want you to be loved

Understand your gift, the reason that teachers and student love you so much, that special sparkle and joy you have..it makes you different and very special.

Knowing your gifts will help you make the most of them and I want you to understand karma.

Autism Speaks, Time to listen

Please join me in my fight to make a difference in the lives of the more than 1 million Americans living with autism today. We walk to show our pride and support of our son Jefferson. Jefferson makes us proud every day and touches everyone who meets him. Without the amazing strides in intensive therapies for Autism, Jefferson would still be silent and unreachable. He is living proof that services and therapies really do work.

We are participating in Walk Now for Autism to help find a cure for autism. Autism is the second most common developmental disorder in the United States affecting one in every 150 children born today. Despite some promising discoveries, the cause of autism is unknown and a cure does not exist. Research is crucial. Every 20 minutes another child is diagnosed with autism. Not only must we find ways to improve the quality of life for children and adults with autism, but we also must find a cure, and soon.

Walk Now for Autism is our chance to make a difference in the fight against autism by raising money for autism research and heightening public awareness. Please join me in my fight as I raise money to help fund essential research. You can donate to Walk Now for Autism and/or join my team online using the links at the bottom of this page. Donations can also be mailed to Autism Speaks using the donation form located on my page or send me a check made out to Autism Speaks.

Thank you for taking an important step in the fight against autism.

Donations are tax deductible to the fullest extent allowed by law.
Autism Speaks 501 (C)(3) Tax Id #: 20-2329938

Matching gift program: Many companies provide their employees with matching gifts. Please consult your employer on its matching gift guidelines and attach matching gift forms accordingly.

Follow This Link to visit my personal web page and help me in my efforts to support Autism Speaks or join our team and walk with us!

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Some email systems do not support the use of links and therefore this link may not appear to work. If so, copy and paste the following into your browser:
http://www.walknowforautism.org/greaterboston/jeffersonsteam?faf=1&e=2537787520
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Peace,

Kelly

The Pilgrims would laugh at us

The economy is in the shitter. I cant afford my 5000sq foot home anymore. Waaaah! when did Americans become such a bunch of pampered pussies? We used to be goddamn pilgrims! We started the chain of natural selection here with some of the toughest bastards from England. We survived winters in America with very little food and freezing cold weather.

Now we cant function without our creature comforts and our taken for granted technology.I cant make it through Boston without my Gamin and I'm horrified when my phone loses its charge! God forbid I go a day without sending 100 texts to my friends.

This immediate gratification and pussification is killing us. We need to appreciate what we have more and get back to doing actual labor. I worry how dependant out kids are on technology and what that will mean for them later.

I think I may join Daryl Hannah and just live in a tee pee for a while.

Suck it Autism

My son is now socializing with his peers. Trading Pokemon cards on his school bus and though this will not seem like a good thing he told me somebody was a pecker head the other day.

I did not let him see my face as he would have loved the shock and I turned away and said, Bubba! you know that is a bad work right? However he did use it creatively and it did indeed sound like his cousin was being a pecker head.My point being that he is using language in less of a rote way. Bubba has feelings and empathy and very strong opinions that he is just learning to express.

His motor skills have improved as has his confidence in body awareness. Gone is the boy who slumped over in a heap after school. Now Bubba rides a scooter with aplomb and seems to never get tired.

There are still struggles ahead, concentrating on homework and completing it is challenging. Bubba wont raise his hand to answer the teacher just yet. Bubba's temper when he cannot easily master something needs to be reined in.

I went to see a school play that Bubba was a part of, he did well reciting his lines. Afterwards I saw him bowing his head down lost in his world and a little girl came over to him and touched his shoulder and whispered to him. I saw him look up at her and smile, snapped back into reality.

He does that to almost everyone he meets. Charms them with his innocence and openness, and his own classmates want to reach him and to know him. I see it time and again and feel comforted that he gets loved even when he is out of my nest.


Suck it Autism, we are still working around it and finding our way.

Josh Beckett Owns the Yankees and what makes Boston Fans great

Josh has his mojo back and pitched the sox to a 6 zip victory against the Yankees. His pitches were electric and beautiful and seeing him hammer the Yankees bullpen makes all right with the universe. The ire of Boston baseball fans is a fearsome thing but our love and loyalty is just as strong. Ive heard so may sports radio blowhards complaining about fans making Big Papi bow when he hits a homer. Idiots! He is acknowledging his fans undying devotion and faith in him. This is a part of baseball in Boston that people never seem to understand.

We love our baseball here and we are at our best as fans when our faith is tested. This is what Boston Dirt Dogs are all about.

We even applauded Mr Ego aka Roger Clemens at his last game at Fenway. We love our players deeply, sometimes we hate them bitterly when they leave us. I personally cannot stomach the sight of Johnny Damon with shorn locks in pinstripes. he just looks like a Borg who has assimilated into the collective douchebagdom of Yankees.

I will gleefully crow about every victory but secretly I am already worried about the next game. Such is the plight of a girl in Boston in love with an entire baseball team. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Breakfast I'd like to f*ck

http://www.rizzotees.com/

How far will people go for fame: Jon and Kate plus 8, and other random musings.

I am sorry faithful readers I have been neglecting my blog. I promise to write more often.

I am not fond of reality TV in general but I have seen Jon and Kate several times because my Daddy likes them, personally I find Kate to be a snarky know it all. Jon seemed an affable goofy henpecked Dad.

I saw the tabloids and kind of thought, oh that poor family, how embarrassing. Then I see a commercial on TV advertising Jon and Kate's first face to face since all the cheating stories were all over the tabliods. So now I see how they roll. For Christ sakes, don't people have any sense of privacy anymore? We can see people withdraw from heroin, vomit into Ziploc bags after purging, pretty much any personal problem has a show. Do we really need to see humanity debased with our evening cocktail?

I don't have any interest in watching something so personal and sad being exploited for a bigger house and a book deal. this is what America is becoming. There is no modicum of decorum anymore. I feel like an alien because I know these shows get huge ratings and I have no interest in seeing people airing their problems on tv.
I have blogged about this before and I am seeing the line get crossed more and more each day. We will absolutely see people die right on camera soon. I know it is hinted at already but I believe the next logical step is executions, accidental deaths, illnesses..all for our viewing pleasure.

Tabloids just 10 years ago were shunned by people when they shot pictures of a dying princess Diana..I really think if that happened now that the pics would be sold for millions and the photographers revered.

I am super happy to report that I don't know the name of the reality show that Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montague are from. I do know they had a fake wedding and maybe a real one two? They are splashed all over magazines and I every time I look at their platinum blond heads and white teeth I think of a butter cream frosted cupcake. Then I feel queasy.

Reality shows are like olestra filled cupcakes..they may taste sweet at first but you will be embarrassed that you succumbed.