Underneath it all

Sephora is girl heaven. I love walking in there and feeling that tingle as I see the walls lined with discs of colors, brushes and sponges beckoning my name. The scents lining the walls in all of their bejeweled splendor.

It is the same girlish thrill I would have when my Mom would take me to a store that sold earrings and barrettes as a little girl.

These adornments date back to Cleopatra, primitive and primal, we mark and enhance our features in order to seduce and procreate. The different tribes have different markings..it can also identify what social class you are in in a mere glance.

We may not squeeze ourselves into corsets anymore, but spanx, flatirons, lip plumpers and tooth whiteners are our new methods of torture.

Men generally say they prefer women who don't wear makeup..however I think that men just dont like a lot of makeup.

I think that letting your lover see you with a bare face and rumpled hair is a very imtimate thing. I associate putting makeup on with going to work, being professional.

When I scrub the makeup off the facade is over. I feel more vulnerable, more of me is showing.

Epigenetics rock my world!

Studying the neuropathology of the brain of someone with Autism shows definite aberrations in brain growth, nero patterning and cortical connections. Changes to the structure and function of synapses have also been seen in the pathology of autism in genetic and animal studies. Also, environmental factors are likely to interact with the underlying genetic profile, and foster the clinical heterogeneity seen in autism spectrum disorders. There seems to be little real medical focus as far as I can find in the medical community about the enviornmental triggers.

What does this mean? The three major parts of the brain that show aberrations and autism symptoms brain stem, cerebellum and corpus callesum.


The autism spectrum disorders are a complex group of behaviorally related disorders that are primarily genetic in origin. Involvement of epigenetic regulatory mechanisms in the pathogenesis of ASD has been suggested by the occurrence of ASD in patients with disorders arising from epigenetic mutations (fragile X syndrome) or that involve key epigenetic regulatory factors (Rett syndrome).

Larger datasets in genetics, a focus on the early signs of autism, and increased recognition of the importance of defining subgroups of children with autism are leading to a greater understanding of the etiologies of autism. A growing interest in defining the molecular biology of social cognition, which is at the core of autism, will lead to expansion of our presently limited choices of mechanistically based interventions.

I quote above 2 paragraphs from pub med.gov
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17919129?ordinalpos=1&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_DiscoveryPanel.Pubmed_Discovery_RA&linkpos=3&log$=relatedreviews&logdbfrom=pubmed

This is all important along with all of the sibling studies and new focuses on the social cognition could really get to the core of understanding autism.

Soothing Rituals

I was a little blue today and decided to get my nails filled. As I sat there I thought about what it is that makes me like being there. I am much quieter when I am there, because I hear the other customers and they seem like loud brash white people talking about me, me, me..as the girls smile and work on their feet and hands.

I enjoy the methodical clattering of the porcelain pots that hold the powders, the tap and swirl of the brushes, and the strong smell of the acetone. I watch as the petite Vietnamese woman use such precision to apply the acrylic and to paint it..it comforts me just to sink into my chair and I rarely talk there unless they ask me a question.

I love listening to the women speaking Vietnamese to each other..I can tell when they are fighting, or if they are making fun of someone. It is a girl's only place for the most part, and I enjoy listening to the teenagers chatter and the brides make plans..It is a perfect people watching venue.

Today I did not have the woman I usually do, but I know her because I have been going there for years. She smiled at me at one point and said, "they all like you here". I am not sure why she said it but it was sweet and reaffirmed why I enjoy going there so much.

Sometimes normal rituals make me feel connected and that is always affirming.

A letter for my boy

Baby Boy,

I have never loved anything in the whole world the way that I love you. Here is what I want for you.

I want you to always learn from your mistakes.

I want you to have compassion and forgiveness in your heart.

I want you to feel pride and self reliance and know that you can do anything you want if you try hard enough.

I want you to always know that I am here with my arms open to comfort you and love you unconditionally. Always know how very wanted you were and how cherished you are.

I want you to help others and in turn they will help you.

I want you to love

I want you to be loved

Understand your gift, the reason that teachers and student love you so much, that special sparkle and joy you have..it makes you different and very special.

Knowing your gifts will help you make the most of them and I want you to understand karma.

Autism Speaks, Time to listen

Please join me in my fight to make a difference in the lives of the more than 1 million Americans living with autism today. We walk to show our pride and support of our son Jefferson. Jefferson makes us proud every day and touches everyone who meets him. Without the amazing strides in intensive therapies for Autism, Jefferson would still be silent and unreachable. He is living proof that services and therapies really do work.

We are participating in Walk Now for Autism to help find a cure for autism. Autism is the second most common developmental disorder in the United States affecting one in every 150 children born today. Despite some promising discoveries, the cause of autism is unknown and a cure does not exist. Research is crucial. Every 20 minutes another child is diagnosed with autism. Not only must we find ways to improve the quality of life for children and adults with autism, but we also must find a cure, and soon.

Walk Now for Autism is our chance to make a difference in the fight against autism by raising money for autism research and heightening public awareness. Please join me in my fight as I raise money to help fund essential research. You can donate to Walk Now for Autism and/or join my team online using the links at the bottom of this page. Donations can also be mailed to Autism Speaks using the donation form located on my page or send me a check made out to Autism Speaks.

Thank you for taking an important step in the fight against autism.

Donations are tax deductible to the fullest extent allowed by law.
Autism Speaks 501 (C)(3) Tax Id #: 20-2329938

Matching gift program: Many companies provide their employees with matching gifts. Please consult your employer on its matching gift guidelines and attach matching gift forms accordingly.

Follow This Link to visit my personal web page and help me in my efforts to support Autism Speaks or join our team and walk with us!

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Some email systems do not support the use of links and therefore this link may not appear to work. If so, copy and paste the following into your browser:
http://www.walknowforautism.org/greaterboston/jeffersonsteam?faf=1&e=2537787520
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Peace,

Kelly

The Pilgrims would laugh at us

The economy is in the shitter. I cant afford my 5000sq foot home anymore. Waaaah! when did Americans become such a bunch of pampered pussies? We used to be goddamn pilgrims! We started the chain of natural selection here with some of the toughest bastards from England. We survived winters in America with very little food and freezing cold weather.

Now we cant function without our creature comforts and our taken for granted technology.I cant make it through Boston without my Gamin and I'm horrified when my phone loses its charge! God forbid I go a day without sending 100 texts to my friends.

This immediate gratification and pussification is killing us. We need to appreciate what we have more and get back to doing actual labor. I worry how dependant out kids are on technology and what that will mean for them later.

I think I may join Daryl Hannah and just live in a tee pee for a while.

Suck it Autism

My son is now socializing with his peers. Trading Pokemon cards on his school bus and though this will not seem like a good thing he told me somebody was a pecker head the other day.

I did not let him see my face as he would have loved the shock and I turned away and said, Bubba! you know that is a bad work right? However he did use it creatively and it did indeed sound like his cousin was being a pecker head.My point being that he is using language in less of a rote way. Bubba has feelings and empathy and very strong opinions that he is just learning to express.

His motor skills have improved as has his confidence in body awareness. Gone is the boy who slumped over in a heap after school. Now Bubba rides a scooter with aplomb and seems to never get tired.

There are still struggles ahead, concentrating on homework and completing it is challenging. Bubba wont raise his hand to answer the teacher just yet. Bubba's temper when he cannot easily master something needs to be reined in.

I went to see a school play that Bubba was a part of, he did well reciting his lines. Afterwards I saw him bowing his head down lost in his world and a little girl came over to him and touched his shoulder and whispered to him. I saw him look up at her and smile, snapped back into reality.

He does that to almost everyone he meets. Charms them with his innocence and openness, and his own classmates want to reach him and to know him. I see it time and again and feel comforted that he gets loved even when he is out of my nest.


Suck it Autism, we are still working around it and finding our way.

Josh Beckett Owns the Yankees and what makes Boston Fans great

Josh has his mojo back and pitched the sox to a 6 zip victory against the Yankees. His pitches were electric and beautiful and seeing him hammer the Yankees bullpen makes all right with the universe. The ire of Boston baseball fans is a fearsome thing but our love and loyalty is just as strong. Ive heard so may sports radio blowhards complaining about fans making Big Papi bow when he hits a homer. Idiots! He is acknowledging his fans undying devotion and faith in him. This is a part of baseball in Boston that people never seem to understand.

We love our baseball here and we are at our best as fans when our faith is tested. This is what Boston Dirt Dogs are all about.

We even applauded Mr Ego aka Roger Clemens at his last game at Fenway. We love our players deeply, sometimes we hate them bitterly when they leave us. I personally cannot stomach the sight of Johnny Damon with shorn locks in pinstripes. he just looks like a Borg who has assimilated into the collective douchebagdom of Yankees.

I will gleefully crow about every victory but secretly I am already worried about the next game. Such is the plight of a girl in Boston in love with an entire baseball team. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Breakfast I'd like to f*ck

http://www.rizzotees.com/

How far will people go for fame: Jon and Kate plus 8, and other random musings.

I am sorry faithful readers I have been neglecting my blog. I promise to write more often.

I am not fond of reality TV in general but I have seen Jon and Kate several times because my Daddy likes them, personally I find Kate to be a snarky know it all. Jon seemed an affable goofy henpecked Dad.

I saw the tabloids and kind of thought, oh that poor family, how embarrassing. Then I see a commercial on TV advertising Jon and Kate's first face to face since all the cheating stories were all over the tabliods. So now I see how they roll. For Christ sakes, don't people have any sense of privacy anymore? We can see people withdraw from heroin, vomit into Ziploc bags after purging, pretty much any personal problem has a show. Do we really need to see humanity debased with our evening cocktail?

I don't have any interest in watching something so personal and sad being exploited for a bigger house and a book deal. this is what America is becoming. There is no modicum of decorum anymore. I feel like an alien because I know these shows get huge ratings and I have no interest in seeing people airing their problems on tv.
I have blogged about this before and I am seeing the line get crossed more and more each day. We will absolutely see people die right on camera soon. I know it is hinted at already but I believe the next logical step is executions, accidental deaths, illnesses..all for our viewing pleasure.

Tabloids just 10 years ago were shunned by people when they shot pictures of a dying princess Diana..I really think if that happened now that the pics would be sold for millions and the photographers revered.

I am super happy to report that I don't know the name of the reality show that Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montague are from. I do know they had a fake wedding and maybe a real one two? They are splashed all over magazines and I every time I look at their platinum blond heads and white teeth I think of a butter cream frosted cupcake. Then I feel queasy.

Reality shows are like olestra filled cupcakes..they may taste sweet at first but you will be embarrassed that you succumbed.

Look girls, interchangable heads and breasts!

I saw this at Target and I stopped in my tracks. I thought of three things, Picasso and the show Nip Tuck and Dexter.

Literally this set turns girls into interchangeable body parts and turns the girl into the decorative accessory.

This toy sends a terrible message to girls and my friend Bree said to me "Yes, totally weird. I mean c’mon now – floating heads with interchangeable bodies? It literally splits women into pieces that need to be altered. Women already have problems looking in the mirror and seeing a “whole” person, we divide ourselves into parts – hips, ass, stomach, face, chest – and criticize every little piece. We don’t need dolls teaching our little girls what categories they can (and apparently, should) change.

Ionic Foot Baths cure Autism!

Extra, extra! Read all about it. Ionic foot baths will purge heavy metals from your child and cure his Autism.

Really? Cmon people the junk science has reached an embarrassing low here.
Positive and negative ions don't resonate through the body in response to any such device. And the skin has no ability to excrete toxins. Real detoxification of foreign substances takes place in the liver, which modifies their chemical structure so they can be excreted by the kidneys which filter them from the blood into the urine.

The change in the water color? would happen if your feet were in there or not! Add the addition of your skin cremes, nail polish,sebum and pieces of skin. Also the darkening of the water is due to the electrode conversion and as I said this happens sans feet.

Ionic detox cleanses your cells?

No it doesn't..drink more water, that's what your cells need.

Here is Kelly's common sense approach to how to care for neuro-typical and neuro-diverse children alike.


avoid refined sugar
white flour
soda
juice in extreme moderation
think about balance, salty/sweet/savory
teach your children to enjoy food preparation, it will make them want to taste the food. With balance, also moderation, if your child does overeat something too sweet or fatty, talk to them about how it makes then feel. Are you tired? Sick? Sleepy?

help them make the food and body connection.


Leave the quacking to the vain celebs who can afford to shove tubes up their asses and flush away 3000 pounds of Kobe beef remnants.

Will the internet save us?

Admittedly I am no Einstein when it comes to understanding investments and the economy. The extent of my knowledge of banks failing is what I learned from watching It's a Wonderful Life.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. During the last Great Depression we had much less media and access to information than we do now. With the Internet and hundreds of channels on television solely devoted to US financial issues even a Walmart employee can easily access information if they so desire.

Will this help prevent total panic? Will people chill and not cash out their 401K's? Listening to an economist rather than Ted the butcher may have a positive effect and help quell panic that never helps stabilize anything.

I may be wrong but to me it makes sense that the economy has to suffer major downturns once in a while, it is cyclical like anything else. I am not going to start stuffing cash under my mattress. I know my 401K is now a 201K but I am going to ride it out and hope for the best.

Making me laugh for 3 days in a row now

If you can watch this all the way through without laughing hysterically you have issues.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vASd3QGn8eo

Pathos and Pedestals, how the mighty have fallen

I am truly terrible at noticing if people change the furniture in their home, get a new car, lose weight etc. It gets me in trouble with my family all the time.

Here is what I never miss: I will notice if you did not get enough sleep, if you twirl your hair when tired, fidget when you lie, or if you got laid right before work. I know if someone is preggo before they start to show by the changes in their skin. Once I know your cadence and expressions good luck getting something by me. If you are a badly damaged person I can sense it after 5 minutes or less of conversation. Likewise I know if you have had good therapy after talking to you for maybe a half an hour. I know if your parents were alcoholics. I know when you are lying or about to lie.

I have a girlfriend I work with and when I noticed she had a tremor I was very worried about her health. I asked our other friends and none of them had noticed it. I approached her about it telling her I wanted her to see a neurologist. She laughed and told me I was the only person in a year to notice that she had a mild tic due to tourette's..

With this extreme pathos I find myself with an ability to see heroic flickers in an otherwise unremarkable person. So far this pans out with them falling off the pedestal in rapid fashion. A flicker alone is not usually strong enough to survive and be a dominant quality.

I find myself wondering, is it a gift or a curse that I have? Is it possible for me to hone these skills to include sensing the deficits as easily as I sense the strengths? I know that I developed these skills as a young child trying to read adults that often kept things from me and talked in whispers. Later when working with non verbal adults all I had to go on were gestures, facial movements, sometimes just the flick of a wrist.

If you wonder, yes I am also painfully aware of both my weaknesses and strengths, I try to push through the weaknesses with sheer will, with mixed success.

I was recently told by someone that they hated people.. I never feel that way. I love people with all their flawed humanity and feet of clay.

This Litter Sponsored by The Gap

When are we going to stop rewarding people with free homes, cars and wardrobes for pimping their families?

We all know about the lady in Cali who just had octuplets. She is a single Mom living with her mother and already had 6 kids at home.She left the country to find an unscrupulous Doctor willing to inseminate her with multiple embryos.

She is actively pursuing the media and sponsors to help her take care of her new litter of children.I saw her tonight on inside edition smirking and pouting for the camera. Nauseating.

How far are we going to take reality TV before we realize what it is doing to our society?

Children raised in front of a camera crew on a reality show are going to have some pretty strange perceptions about the world and what is important. I would like to see the studies done on these kids 20 years later.

The Truman Show really does not seem so far fetched anymore.I wonder how many years before the glut of reality shows makes us so jaded that anything goes. Remember when a bare ass or a curse shocked us?

I would not be surprised if reality TV airs deaths in the years to come. Maybe we can have sponsors for the coffins and gravestones.

Supplements and the quick fix scam

I wrote this in June of last year.
Trace Minerals.com an analysis of the products vs. scientific evidence

The first claim that grabs me off the bat is the one that states through soil erosion trace minerals are being taken from the soil and being swept into the sea. This now compels you to buy supplements derived from the ocean to replace these essential minerals. Here is the scare pitch:

The complexity of the mineral imbalance problem is apparent. It is apparent that our understanding of the mechanisms of mineral imbalances is fragmentary. New inter-relationships are constantly being discovered. We are presently recognizing and correcting only a small fraction of the mineral imbalance problems plaguing animals and man. 5*5.Hoekstra, W.G. Federation Proceedings. National Academy of Sciences: Washington D.C. (Sept./ Oct., 1964).

The complexity of the mineral balance problem is apparent? Mineral imbalances are plaguing animals and man? No studies to back this scary statement up. As a matter of fact no normal American that follows the Dietary guidelines for Americans has any risk of having a vitamin deficiency. The main groups of Americans that are malnourished are the obese population.

This plays into the new marketing technique of why Americans are so unhealthy. It is not because we sit all day, eat fast food and do not exercise, it is because of over aggressive farming, soils erosion and mineral imbalances. The solution is not to eat healthy foods, since trace minerals.com alleges that over use of fertilizer is robbing our foods of essential nutrients. We can blame someone else and get the quick fix solution to what ails us.

The other claim made is that if the minerals we intake do not have the proper ionic charge they cannot be properly absorbed? I spoke with Dr. John Snider M.D a medical internist and teacher at Tufts Medical School and after he stopped laughing he told me this is false and that the small intestine will absorb minerals without you worrying about how ionically charged they are. I have been unable to find any reliable medical sources indicating that this is backed up with any science.

The trace minerals once abundant in our soils are gone because of "overaggressive farming" whatever that means. The site claims synthetic fertilizers are only good for plants and are missing elements humans need. Fertilizer is fertilizer; it enriches the soil causing plants to grow. There are no scientific studies I can find linking synthetic fertilizer with less nutritious crops. Here is a quote from quack watch:

Plants convert natural fertilizers into the same chemicals that synthetic fertilizers supply. The vitamin content of a food is determined by its genetic makeup Stephen Barrett, M.D.
Victor Herbert, M.D., J.D.
The Traceminerals.com has a clever pitch, peppered with scare tactics with enough medical word thrown in to sound pseudo- intellectual, but with no real data other than the articles written by the founder Dr. Meltis who is not an MD but a Naturopath.

The phenomenon of quick fix, take a pill, blame someone else that is pervasive in our culture is a gold mine for the supplement charlatans. We are willing to spend untold mounts of money to ensure our longevity. The fact that the ads also lay the blame elsewhere is a particularly appealing marketing technique.

Added 2/05/2009

I am seeing more of this junky science trickling into real life and it scares me. Parents of Autistic children who have no medical back round at all are allowing Chelation treatments for their children. Chelation treatment has no scientific support as a treatment for Autism. It is supposed to remove lead and arsenic from poisoned people.

Can we please stop pretending we are all doctors? Can we stop thinking anecdotal evidence is good enough to do something as drastic as chelation?

Can we stop trying to quick fix and use science to our advantage?

Bah!

Survival of the fittest brain

I was talking to my friend Jon about my take on survival of the fittest. Weirdly I think about this stuff a lot because of reality TV. When I see the commercials for survivor I think, I am diabetic, I would never survive without the modern comforts that I have. If I got stuck in the woods with no carbohydrates would I know what to eat to stay alive?

Modern nutrition, vaccines and medical technology have usurped some of the importance in having physical strength or stamina. Someone like Steven Hawkins who is medically fragile and not able to speak without technology can communicate mind boggling quantum gravity.

Thinking about modern ways of conceiving via in vitro fertilization also adds another layer to who is surviving now. I wonder what it will all mean in another 100 years. Will the entire idea concept of who is fittest be completely different?

If we did not have all of these tools to help us survive what would our society look like now?

Autism and Scientology

I did write a blog about my thoughts on Jett Travolta's untimely death and whether or not I think he is Autistic.I got almost a dozen emails asking me where my post was.My desire to discuss autism is tempered by my gut. I am not going to publish it. An innocent child is gone.I do not know anything about this child or his medical history.I know he was sheltered from the media and looked well cared for.

I do not have to make money from my blog and do not wish to feed into the machine of corpse pickers in our media who ghoulishly delight in the sorrow of the famous.The adults who chose to be in that industry are one thing but the children they have should be left alone.

The rest of it is left to god or Buddha or whoever you pray to at night.I pray that his parents can go on through what must be the most terrible pain a human can experience, losing their child.

Blessings,
Kelly