Debates... Yawn

I watched the debates mainly to see if McCain would be able to show some charisma.I already knew that the debates reveal little to nothing about actual platforms and policy. The two candidates cautiously circle each other, frozen smiles in place. Through gritted teeth they try to best their opponent without seeming aggressive. Defend their statements without seeming defensive. They are too careful,too modulated, too fake. Of course nobody wants to be perceived as too emotional a la Howard Dean. Don't be wooden like Al Gore.

My friend tall Kelly is an Obama supporter.I am a McCain supporter. So I asked her who she thought did better and she said "well they both did OK, but I thought Obama was a little better.I told her I thought they both did well but I thought McCain did a little better. Basically this conversation between Kelly's proved to me how useless these debates are.

Then Tall Kelly said she thought they should spice it up, maybe play some games, have some free style rap. I think this is an excellent idea.

Wilkepedia for Muppet lovers

http://muppet.wikia.com


Those who know me are aware i am a tad obssesed with sesame street and muppet characters. This site is fabulous and lists all of the obscure puppets over the years on the show.

summer goals update

I posted these in june

Goals for summer:
Learn to throw a javelin. billy blanks tae bo instead

Learn a new language, or at least be able to talk dirty in another language i learned some dirty phrases

Read a few non medical/nursing books read 5 non medical books

quit smoking AGAIN (I quit for 7 years and started again, because I am stupid)at the moment am not smoking

Go to a vineyard, have never been to one sadly no

create enough painting to have a show somewhere well on my way

be still (this will be the hardest one next to javelin)failure

learn to swing a gold club working on it and can hit the ball straight but only 50 yards

You either get it or you don't

there is no perfect life or perfect place to live,

there are fleeting moments and images, painful and sweet

noticing those notes, smells, tastes and remembering them

attempting to give good karma out into the world..not to achieve total consciousness
but because you just feel right doing so

moments of laughing, yelling, being rebellious and obnoxious,

having people that can hear you even when you won't talk

my own needs are so simple and my rules are too

I want to end each day knowing that if it was my last, my friends would know exactly how I feel about them

I can still be embarrased

I did not think it was possible to make me blush anymore. I used to work with severely mentally challenged adults who would steal coffee, drop trou in public, rip price tags off all the clothing in stores...I handled this all with aplomb.

My three year old daughter accompanied me to David's bridal where I had to be fitted for a bridesmaids dress. If you are familiar with this store when you try on dresses you walk into a public area that has mirrors covering the walls and platforms where you can stand and look at the gown.

As I came out each time in a new dress my daughter would exclaim "Mommy wearing red! Mommy wearing pink!"...after about the 6th gown I came out and stepped on podium next to 2 brides to be in wearing their beautiful potential dresses.

My three year old crowed

"Mommy! Where is your vagina?"...I ignored her and looked around nervously...so far brides ignoring me and her.

MOM WHERE DID YOUR VAGINA GO?

MOMMY IS YOUR VAGINA STILL HERE?

She grabs the gown and pulls it up and climbs under my dress...at this point all the sweet 20 something brides and their Moms are totally listening and looking out of the corners of their eyes at us.

I whisper desperately, "Honey it is still there, lets not talk about this now ok?"
She is quiet for a moment and smiles up at me.

I start to relax and she follows me into my changing room. I take off the gown and I am whispering to her. "Honey we need to be quiet in front of all the ladies ok?"

She decided this would be a good time to leave the changing room and flings the door open as I stand there in a bra and panties. She turns and looks at me and yells

"Mommy there is your vagina, and your tattoo!"


Nice...blushing as I see the fleeting glances of the horrified women ..I manage to dress quickly and grab my girl's hand and retreat from the store.

Viva La Drag Queen!

I saw a great Drag Cabaret Show in Boston last night.The over exaggeration of all that is feminine plus their long limbs and wide shoulders gives the drag queen a kind of fierce, in your face beauty.
They move their limbs in a liquid and sexual way, much more so than a girl would need to. Everything is amped up, color contacts, fake eyelashes,glitter, paint, red lips.
I resent the time it takes to apply my mascara. Every day I take my femininity for granted even when I am strident in my berks and hoodie.

It is obvious why certain female pop stars like Cher, Whitney, Brittany who emulate this exaggerated femininity are iconoclastic. One thing I am interested in is why heterosexual women love drag queens so much? I joked with my girlfriends about my confusing feelings when the Britney queen came by and kissed me. She was beautiful and seductive and fascinating.
We like their boldness, fearlessness and fashion exaggeration because we would never pull off those sequins and rock those stilettos like a 6 foot 5 drag queen can. I am now thinking that Gwen Stefani may actually be a drag queen.

Bad girls, bold girls, girls who are fierce and in your face! I realized as they all came out on the stage singing Lady Marmelade and all of the drunk girls were screaming along this is what we love about them…they are paying us the highest compliment that they possibly can and we love them right back!


Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir all my sisters and me!

My final wishes

Yes just being melodramatic kids..I have had 2 major asthma attacks in 2 weeks that included a lovely trip to the hospital for air. it got me to thinking about my final wishes.

1. Mayor Menino is finally correctly diagnosed with downs syndrome
2. Jeremy Jacobs sells the Bruins to somebody who actually gives a shit about the Stanley Cup
3. I learn to hit the golf ball more than 50 yards
4. I never have to shovel snow..I guess when I am dead that will happen anyways
5. Manscaping is abolished
6. somebody sterilizes Paris Hilton before it is too late
7. one more trip to vegas with a HUGE bag of money

Sista Please!

Please, somebody give this woman a sandwich. She looks like the crypt keeper.

Michael Savage is a giant bag of shit

Michael Savage radio personality, shock jock has made the following declarations about Autism on July 16th:
“Now, you want me to tell you my opinion on autism? … A fraud, a racket.”
Now, the illness du jour is autism. You know what autism is? I’ll tell you what autism is. In 99 percent of the cases, it’s a brat who hasn’t been told to cut the act out. That’s what autism is.

What do you mean they scream and they’re silent? They don’t have a father around to tell them, “Don’t act like a moron. You’ll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don’t sit there crying and screaming, idiot.”

Autism — everybody has an illness. If I behaved like a fool, my father called me a fool. And he said to me, “Don’t behave like a fool.” The worst thing he said — “Don’t behave like a fool. Don’t be anybody’s dummy. Don’t sound like an idiot. Don’t act like a girl. Don’t cry.” That’s what I was raised with. That’s what you should raise your children with. Stop with the sensitivity training. You’re turning your son into a girl, and you’re turning your nation into a nation of losers and beaten men. That’s why we have the politicians we have.

Michael,
You have every right to spew stupid inflammatory bile, but I also have the right to blog about what an uninformed fucktard you are when it comes to Autsim.

You do not deserve to breathe the same air as my autistic child. People like you help spread misinformation and perpetuate the idea that autism is just a behavioral problem. I would think with all of your college education you would have more sense than to say something so moronic.

I do not think you should be taken of air just because you are a blowhard, full of yourself, jackass. I am enjoying watching all of your sponsor's drop you like a steaming turd though. I think we know who the real loser is.

One out of 133 children are now diagnosed with Autism, they could be your sponsor's kids, your bosses kids, your relatives kids.
Karma is one nasty bitch Michael, I will enjoy watching it swing right back into your blustery piehole.

Unwashed Masses

I have discovered some important things about me and theme parks today:

not using valet parking sucks

the unwashed masses are as gross and impolite as you would suspect

nobody is pleasant in 100 degree weather waiting in a line for 80 minutes

there should be a law passed against wearing a two piece when you are more than 30 pounds overweight

I am fully aware I would never survive boot camp, living in a 3rd world country or any reality show.

if you bring your 7 day old newborn to a theme parks on a 100 degree day you should not have been allowed to procreate