Attention Deficient in Boston

10 Myths about Autism Insurance in Massachusetts

2011-01-10T00:34:00.000+07:00

Top 10 Myths About Autism Insurance in Massachusetts

Myth 1: MA has universal healthcare. Not if you are a person with autism. MA health plans don’t cover autism, the largest public health threat to children and a more common diagnosis for kids than cancer, diabetes and AIDS combined. There are no other common medical conditions for which doctors prescribe standard treatments, and MA private health insurers refuse to cover them. 21 other states that don’t claim to have universal health care have already passed autism insurance reform.

Myth 2: Schools are handling autism. No, schools know how to provide education, not healthcare. The idea that we should give them the primary responsibility for treating medical problems is ridiculous. Would you allow your child to get her asthma or diabetes or eye care from school staff? Public schools do provide some autism therapy because federal law requires it, but that requirement is limited it to what is necessary to enable children to “access the curriculum”. The notion that school-day assistance is all these kids need for a disability that plagues them 24 hrs/day is absurd. It can only be compared to taking a child’s glasses away from her when she walks out of school, or making an asthmatic child leave his inhaler in his locker. Schools rely upon the health care system to send kids to school prepared to learn, which is why school superintendents strongly support autism insurance reform. If kids with autism are arriving at school without proper health care provided to them, ALL children, including typical kids, suffer.

Myth 3: The Mental Health Parity Bill covers autism. No. The Mental Health Parity Bill doesn’t cover the four most important therapies for effective autism treatment: Speech, Occupational, Physical, and Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) Therapy. These 4 therapies are explicitly named in H3809: Act to Require Insurance Coverage for Autism (ARICA).

Myth 4: The Federal Health Insurance Reform covers autism. No. While some individual and small group plans are required to cover behavioral therapy, the vast majority of plans, the large employer and self-insured plans which cover the majority of Americans, don’t cover autism. ( i )

Myth 5: Autism coverage is expensive. No it’s not. According to the Harvard School of Public Health, the lifetime cost to taxpayers of caring for an individual with autism is $3.2M.( ii ) Providing intense services early on will seriously diminish these costs, and will result not only in savings in SSI, Medicaid, Medicare, and other state funded programs, but will increase state income tax revenue from individuals with autism who, if effectively treated, will work and pay taxes. On the other hand, this bill will cost just from $1.22 to $2.45 per member/per month (DHFP) ( iii ). What’s expensive is not acting on this bill.

Myth 6: These autism therapies are unproven. For the health plans to continue to state this is simply dishonest. They particularly target ABA Therapy, and just for the record: 550 studies have been published in scientific journals supporting it ( iv ); the US Surgeon General names it as a key therapy for autism ( v ), and the study that just came out from the MA Division of Health Care Finance and Policy re-affirms that this therapy is effective ( vi ), as do 21 other states.

Myth 7: MA is a progressive state. Wrong. Very “un-progressive” states like South Carolina, Louisiana, and Texas have already passed this reform. We live in a state with a collective moral conscience that cannot bear to have greyhound dogs race around a track, but we continue to allow children with autism to go without healthcare that can radically improve their lives.

Myth 8: "Mandates" are responsible for driving health care costs increases. No. The extreme inflation of health care costs in Massachusetts are driven by many factors, some of which have been the subject of Attorney General Investigations and Boston Globe articles . Multiple actuarial analyses have concluded that the cost of ARICA is minimal ( vii ). The experience in States that already require insurance coverage for autism treatment has reflected a negligible impact. The larger debates about our State and our Nation’s health care system should not be an excuse to continue to deny healthcare to kids with autism.

Myth 9: Autism families are a private interest group. When a healthcare crisis is this rampant it affects everyone: taxpayers, employers, employees, typical kids, kids with autism… everyone in some way. And if you don’t have a personal connection yet, you soon will, given that 1/110 kids, and 1/70 boys are being diagnosed. There are about 700 pregnant women walking around MA this year carrying a child who will have autism (viii ). There are about 1400 parents of 1 year old toddlers in our state who are noticing that their child doesn't point or talk, and who are about to get this diagnosis. This isn’t just happening to someone else.

Myth 10: A diagnosis that your child is sick or disabled is the scariest thing that can happen to a parent. Close, but not quite true. The scarier thing is to learn that your insurance won't pay for his treatments, and that he will go without. That his future potential will leak out of him as you wait years for MA to pass this law. Too many parents in MA are watching their children go untreated every day, and that is beyond scary for a parent. Please don’t let them watch the calendar continue to tick by without autism insurance reform!

Back in my day we used carbon paper

2010-09-21T07:13:00.000+08:00

As I rapidly approach 40 I feel that I have embraced the technological boom of the past 20 years with enthusiasm and awe. I was thrilled to go from a bulky Walkman to a slim i pod. I used computer programs at work that were maddeningly temperamental in my twenties.. Remember AS400? One wrong keystroke and I was kicked out of the program I needed.I used to write up reports on carbon paper and have inky fingertips at the end of the day.

Lately I am feeling a pull of nostalgia for the way life was before. Slower and more tangible.

I adore the feel of a new hardcover book..The texture of the binder..the smell of the paper. The small and satisfying sound of a crackle as I turn each page. There are sensory sensations that a kindle would never I give to me. My books upon my shelf are like past loves.. they all mean something to me, taught me, humbled me. Grabbing my tattered copy of The Shining I remember how I was ten years old and was reading it on the sly whenever my Dad would lay it down somewhere.

That book scared the shit out of me. I remember my visceral reaction at one chapter where I flung the book away from me. Of course two seconds later I was scrambling to retrieve it and find out why all work and no play made Jack a dull boy.

My favorite iphone application is called Ambiance.. It has recordings of outdoor sounds that I love to listen to when I sleep. My favorite ones are of the ocean and of rain in a forest. Of course whats missing is one of the most wonderful parts of these sound experiences. The smell of the rain and the ocean are the most heady scents in the world to me. I am slowly being lulled into this flat screen life.

I won't go gentle into that matrix night! For every part of the day you experience via electronic miracle there should be a down and dirty immersion in the real world. I will build my own fires and play my vinyl records..I occasionally write a real letter seal it with wax..just because.

We are supposed to get papercuts..its part of the joie de vivre!

Celebs? Left Wing Self righteous media? Where art thou?

2010-06-21T09:55:00.000+08:00

The BP oil spill threatens coastal Louisiana, Gulf Coast fisheries, Gulf of Mexico ecosystems, and perhaps the East Coast, as the spill reaches the loop current.

What is the President doing? How long do we have to wait for action?

When FEMA dropped the ball after Hurricane Katrina the news was plastered with angry celebrities calling Bush evil.Where the hell is Spicolli now? Brad and Angelina?

Anyone? Bueller?

Shouldn't Obama be calling all of the greatest scientific and engineering minds in the world to stop everything and help find a way to staunch the flow of oil before it kills an entire ecosystem of ocean life and pollutes our seafood supply?

Nah, maybe James Cameron will know what to do. He is a pretty good film director.

Is Michael Moore making a movie lampooning Obama for his sluggish impotence?

I ain't holdin my breath on that.

My Gahmin

2010-05-08T01:28:00.000+08:00

I decided this morning as I missed a turn and my Garmin started to yell at me how much better it would be if it spoke to me in my mother tongue, the wicked Boston accent.

Hey Kelly, you went too faah, bang a wicked shaahp left ova heah. Ya thats bettah.Stay cleah of the summah people on the rohtary

Garmin would automatically show you where the nearest Dunks was and update Red Sox scores as they happen. The words added in that only we understand,

packie

west a woostah

bang a yuey

Ptown

breakdown lane

calm ya livah you loosah

sketchy

pissa

irish rivearah

the old gahden

Hey Stupid! It's not about you.

2010-03-07T23:29:00.001+07:00

Your children are under no obligation to be an extension or representation of you. If you are embarrassed when your Autistic child does something in public that is not considered appropriate, you need to check yourself.

A true advocate is accepting and dignified. Your reactions and responses are being watched by the public and noted. If you explain that your child is Autistic don't you dare apologize!

Do not let a stranger say something your child can hear and not respond.

Be brave, be loving, be a voice your child can be proud of.

I should say now I will jump off my soapbox but I won't.

Ever

Autism and Mood Disorder

2010-03-04T10:20:00.000+07:00

The perception and regulation of emotions are obviously challenging for Autistic people.

Genetics and physiology are linked..as many persons with Autism are also diagnosed with mood disorders.

There is a lot of incidences of people with Autism having mood disorders and or depression and anxiety. People with autism are bombarded with sensory overloads, social confusion, bullying, and so many other daily challenges which are depressing.
So perhaps we could deduce that Autism causes the mood disorder but treating the mood swings with medication can reduce anxiety and allow for learning adaptive skills that make daily life easier and more enjoyable.

I dont even think it really matters if they are co morbid disorders. As long as treatment of some symptoms makes quality of life better.

It's my blog and I can rant if I want to....

2010-02-21T22:43:00.000+07:00

Can you tell someone has an inner brilliance when you meet them? It crackles behind their eyes and can even feel electric if they are discussing something that excites them.

I feel drawn to these people and repelled by stagnant and negative people. This would seem sensible and most people would say they do the same. But what if the stagnant negative person happened to be stunningly attractive? Perfect body and face, looks that can stop traffic. Would you put up with the self absorbed aspects to soak in the surface beauty?

Many people do and I see them vainly try to assign some noble traits to justify it. The beautiful person makes one tiny unselfish gesture and you have to hear about it for weeks.

It's my blog and I can rant if I want to, rant if I want to........

Carnie Wilson Addict Postergirl

2010-02-03T21:01:00.000+07:00

I loved her when she was a big girl and had her own talk show...when she would spar with Howard Stern and hold her own. When she had Gastric Bypass I bought her book and I loved it. She inspired me to have the same surgery years later.

I struggle with addiction to food and wine and so does she. So why do I now look at her on TV and feel dissapointed? She is on Dr Oz, on any reality show that will have her,country singing, celebrity fit club,even pimping her family on tv...selling cookbooks..hustling.Jesus Girl have an ounce of decorum keep your kids off the tv.

When celebrities bring a part of their real life into the public arena to help others it is touchy. Wilson has crossed over into train wreck D list territory again and again..Still I rooted for her.

I saw her this morning on my Fox New Local Station and her answers to Gene were so defensive..

I'm VERY healthy

I did not gain ALL of it back.

Then it hit me why she turns me off now. She sounds like an addict. Defensive, full of shit, excuses, self absorbed. She sounds like me!

It is helpful to me to hear her and use it for my own self improvement. You can't talk your way out of addictions. She is a beautiful girl who seems to care more about maintaining a celeb lifestyle than living a simple life with her family.

That pace and lifestyle is so unappealing to me and seems to be so dangerous for people with addictive personalities.

Underneath it all

2009-11-04T09:50:00.001+07:00

Sephora is girl heaven. I love walking in there and feeling that tingle as I see the walls lined with discs of colors, brushes and sponges beckoning my name. The scents lining the walls in all of their bejeweled splendor.

It is the same girlish thrill I would have when my Mom would take me to a store that sold earrings and barrettes as a little girl.

These adornments date back to Cleopatra, primitive and primal, we mark and enhance our features in order to seduce and procreate. The different tribes have different markings..it can also identify what social class you are in in a mere glance.

We may not squeeze ourselves into corsets anymore, but spanx, flatirons, lip plumpers and tooth whiteners are our new methods of torture.

Men generally say they prefer women who don't wear makeup..however I think that men just dont like a lot of makeup.

I think that letting your lover see you with a bare face and rumpled hair is a very imtimate thing. I associate putting makeup on with going to work, being professional.

When I scrub the makeup off the facade is over. I feel more vulnerable, more of me is showing.

Epigenetics rock my world!

2009-09-29T08:42:00.000+08:00

Studying the neuropathology of the brain of someone with Autism shows definite aberrations in brain growth, nero patterning and cortical connections. Changes to the structure and function of synapses have also been seen in the pathology of autism in genetic and animal studies. Also, environmental factors are likely to interact with the underlying genetic profile, and foster the clinical heterogeneity seen in autism spectrum disorders. There seems to be little real medical focus as far as I can find in the medical community about the enviornmental triggers.

What does this mean? The three major parts of the brain that show aberrations and autism symptoms brain stem, cerebellum and corpus callesum.

The autism spectrum disorders are a complex group of behaviorally related disorders that are primarily genetic in origin. Involvement of epigenetic regulatory mechanisms in the pathogenesis of ASD has been suggested by the occurrence of ASD in patients with disorders arising from epigenetic mutations (fragile X syndrome) or that involve key epigenetic regulatory factors (Rett syndrome).

Larger datasets in genetics, a focus on the early signs of autism, and increased recognition of the importance of defining subgroups of children with autism are leading to a greater understanding of the etiologies of autism. A growing interest in defining the molecular biology of social cognition, which is at the core of autism, will lead to expansion of our presently limited choices of mechanistically based interventions.

I quote above 2 paragraphs from pub med.gov
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17919129?ordinalpos=1&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_DiscoveryPanel.Pubmed_Discovery_RA&linkpos=3&log$=relatedreviews&logdbfrom=pubmed

This is all important along with all of the sibling studies and new focuses on the social cognition could really get to the core of understanding autism.

Soothing Rituals

2009-08-19T07:32:00.000+08:00

I was a little blue today and decided to get my nails filled. As I sat there I thought about what it is that makes me like being there. I am much quieter when I am there, because I hear the other customers and they seem like loud brash white people talking about me, me, me..as the girls smile and work on their feet and hands.

I enjoy the methodical clattering of the porcelain pots that hold the powders, the tap and swirl of the brushes, and the strong smell of the acetone. I watch as the petite Vietnamese woman use such precision to apply the acrylic and to paint it..it comforts me just to sink into my chair and I rarely talk there unless they ask me a question.

I love listening to the women speaking Vietnamese to each other..I can tell when they are fighting, or if they are making fun of someone. It is a girl's only place for the most part, and I enjoy listening to the teenagers chatter and the brides make plans..It is a perfect people watching venue.

Today I did not have the woman I usually do, but I know her because I have been going there for years. She smiled at me at one point and said, "they all like you here". I am not sure why she said it but it was sweet and reaffirmed why I enjoy going there so much.

Sometimes normal rituals make me feel connected and that is always affirming.

A letter for my boy

2009-08-06T06:55:00.000+08:00

Baby Boy,

I have never loved anything in the whole world the way that I love you. Here is what I want for you.

I want you to always learn from your mistakes.

I want you to have compassion and forgiveness in your heart.

I want you to feel pride and self reliance and know that you can do anything you want if you try hard enough.

I want you to always know that I am here with my arms open to comfort you and love you unconditionally. Always know how very wanted you were and how cherished you are.

I want you to help others and in turn they will help you.

I want you to love

I want you to be loved

Understand your gift, the reason that teachers and student love you so much, that special sparkle and joy you have..it makes you different and very special.

Knowing your gifts will help you make the most of them and I want you to understand karma.

Autism Speaks, Time to listen

2009-07-08T07:11:00.000+08:00

Please join me in my fight to make a difference in the lives of the more than 1 million Americans living with autism today. We walk to show our pride and support of our son Jefferson. Jefferson makes us proud every day and touches everyone who meets him. Without the amazing strides in intensive therapies for Autism, Jefferson would still be silent and unreachable. He is living proof that services and therapies really do work.

We are participating in Walk Now for Autism to help find a cure for autism. Autism is the second most common developmental disorder in the United States affecting one in every 150 children born today. Despite some promising discoveries, the cause of autism is unknown and a cure does not exist. Research is crucial. Every 20 minutes another child is diagnosed with autism. Not only must we find ways to improve the quality of life for children and adults with autism, but we also must find a cure, and soon.

Walk Now for Autism is our chance to make a difference in the fight against autism by raising money for autism research and heightening public awareness. Please join me in my fight as I raise money to help fund essential research. You can donate to Walk Now for Autism and/or join my team online using the links at the bottom of this page. Donations can also be mailed to Autism Speaks using the donation form located on my page or send me a check made out to Autism Speaks.

Thank you for taking an important step in the fight against autism.

Donations are tax deductible to the fullest extent allowed by law.
Autism Speaks 501 (C)(3) Tax Id #: 20-2329938

Matching gift program: Many companies provide their employees with matching gifts. Please consult your employer on its matching gift guidelines and attach matching gift forms accordingly.

Follow This Link to visit my personal web page and help me in my efforts to support Autism Speaks or join our team and walk with us!

******************************************************************************
Some email systems do not support the use of links and therefore this link may not appear to work. If so, copy and paste the following into your browser:
http://www.walknowforautism.org/greaterboston/jeffersonsteam?faf=1&e=2537787520
******************************************************************************
Peace,

Kelly

The Pilgrims would laugh at us

2009-06-24T00:36:00.000+08:00

The economy is in the shitter. I cant afford my 5000sq foot home anymore. Waaaah! when did Americans become such a bunch of pampered pussies? We used to be goddamn pilgrims! We started the chain of natural selection here with some of the toughest bastards from England. We survived winters in America with very little food and freezing cold weather.

Now we cant function without our creature comforts and our taken for granted technology.I cant make it through Boston without my Gamin and I'm horrified when my phone loses its charge! God forbid I go a day without sending 100 texts to my friends.

This immediate gratification and pussification is killing us. We need to appreciate what we have more and get back to doing actual labor. I worry how dependant out kids are on technology and what that will mean for them later.

I think I may join Daryl Hannah and just live in a tee pee for a while.

Suck it Autism

2009-06-12T11:44:00.000+08:00

My son is now socializing with his peers. Trading Pokemon cards on his school bus and though this will not seem like a good thing he told me somebody was a pecker head the other day.

I did not let him see my face as he would have loved the shock and I turned away and said, Bubba! you know that is a bad work right? However he did use it creatively and it did indeed sound like his cousin was being a pecker head.My point being that he is using language in less of a rote way. Bubba has feelings and empathy and very strong opinions that he is just learning to express.

His motor skills have improved as has his confidence in body awareness. Gone is the boy who slumped over in a heap after school. Now Bubba rides a scooter with aplomb and seems to never get tired.

There are still struggles ahead, concentrating on homework and completing it is challenging. Bubba wont raise his hand to answer the teacher just yet. Bubba's temper when he cannot easily master something needs to be reined in.

I went to see a school play that Bubba was a part of, he did well reciting his lines. Afterwards I saw him bowing his head down lost in his world and a little girl came over to him and touched his shoulder and whispered to him. I saw him look up at her and smile, snapped back into reality.

He does that to almost everyone he meets. Charms them with his innocence and openness, and his own classmates want to reach him and to know him. I see it time and again and feel comforted that he gets loved even when he is out of my nest.

Suck it Autism, we are still working around it and finding our way.

Josh Beckett Owns the Yankees and what makes Boston Fans great

2009-06-12T02:43:00.000+08:00

Josh has his mojo back and pitched the sox to a 6 zip victory against the Yankees. His pitches were electric and beautiful and seeing him hammer the Yankees bullpen makes all right with the universe. The ire of Boston baseball fans is a fearsome thing but our love and loyalty is just as strong. Ive heard so may sports radio blowhards complaining about fans making Big Papi bow when he hits a homer. Idiots! He is acknowledging his fans undying devotion and faith in him. This is a part of baseball in Boston that people never seem to understand.

We love our baseball here and we are at our best as fans when our faith is tested. This is what Boston Dirt Dogs are all about.

We even applauded Mr Ego aka Roger Clemens at his last game at Fenway. We love our players deeply, sometimes we hate them bitterly when they leave us. I personally cannot stomach the sight of Johnny Damon with shorn locks in pinstripes. he just looks like a Borg who has assimilated into the collective douchebagdom of Yankees.

I will gleefully crow about every victory but secretly I am already worried about the next game. Such is the plight of a girl in Boston in love with an entire baseball team. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Breakfast I'd like to f*ck

2009-06-08T09:22:00.000+08:00

http://www.rizzotees.com/

How far will people go for fame: Jon and Kate plus 8, and other random musings.

2009-05-27T04:44:00.000+08:00

I am sorry faithful readers I have been neglecting my blog. I promise to write more often.

I am not fond of reality TV in general but I have seen Jon and Kate several times because my Daddy likes them, personally I find Kate to be a snarky know it all. Jon seemed an affable goofy henpecked Dad.

I saw the tabloids and kind of thought, oh that poor family, how embarrassing. Then I see a commercial on TV advertising Jon and Kate's first face to face since all the cheating stories were all over the tabliods. So now I see how they roll. For Christ sakes, don't people have any sense of privacy anymore? We can see people withdraw from heroin, vomit into Ziploc bags after purging, pretty much any personal problem has a show. Do we really need to see humanity debased with our evening cocktail?

I don't have any interest in watching something so personal and sad being exploited for a bigger house and a book deal. this is what America is becoming. There is no modicum of decorum anymore. I feel like an alien because I know these shows get huge ratings and I have no interest in seeing people airing their problems on tv.
I have blogged about this before and I am seeing the line get crossed more and more each day. We will absolutely see people die right on camera soon. I know it is hinted at already but I believe the next logical step is executions, accidental deaths, illnesses..all for our viewing pleasure.

Tabloids just 10 years ago were shunned by people when they shot pictures of a dying princess Diana..I really think if that happened now that the pics would be sold for millions and the photographers revered.

I am super happy to report that I don't know the name of the reality show that Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montague are from. I do know they had a fake wedding and maybe a real one two? They are splashed all over magazines and I every time I look at their platinum blond heads and white teeth I think of a butter cream frosted cupcake. Then I feel queasy.

Reality shows are like olestra filled cupcakes..they may taste sweet at first but you will be embarrassed that you succumbed.

Look girls, interchangable heads and breasts!

2009-04-02T11:14:00.000+08:00

I saw this at Target and I stopped in my tracks. I thought of three things, Picasso and the show Nip Tuck and Dexter.

Literally this set turns girls into interchangeable body parts and turns the girl into the decorative accessory.

This toy sends a terrible message to girls and my friend Bree said to me "Yes, totally weird. I mean c’mon now – floating heads with interchangeable bodies? It literally splits women into pieces that need to be altered. Women already have problems looking in the mirror and seeing a “whole” person, we divide ourselves into parts – hips, ass, stomach, face, chest – and criticize every little piece. We don’t need dolls teaching our little girls what categories they can (and apparently, should) change.

Ionic Foot Baths cure Autism!

2009-03-23T09:19:00.000+07:00

Extra, extra! Read all about it. Ionic foot baths will purge heavy metals from your child and cure his Autism.

Really? Cmon people the junk science has reached an embarrassing low here.
Positive and negative ions don't resonate through the body in response to any such device. And the skin has no ability to excrete toxins. Real detoxification of foreign substances takes place in the liver, which modifies their chemical structure so they can be excreted by the kidneys which filter them from the blood into the urine.

The change in the water color? would happen if your feet were in there or not! Add the addition of your skin cremes, nail polish,sebum and pieces of skin. Also the darkening of the water is due to the electrode conversion and as I said this happens sans feet.

Ionic detox cleanses your cells?

No it doesn't..drink more water, that's what your cells need.

Here is Kelly's common sense approach to how to care for neuro-typical and neuro-diverse children alike.

avoid refined sugar
white flour
soda
juice in extreme moderation
think about balance, salty/sweet/savory
teach your children to enjoy food preparation, it will make them want to taste the food. With balance, also moderation, if your child does overeat something too sweet or fatty, talk to them about how it makes then feel. Are you tired? Sick? Sleepy?

help them make the food and body connection.

Leave the quacking to the vain celebs who can afford to shove tubes up their asses and flush away 3000 pounds of Kobe beef remnants.

Will the internet save us?

2009-02-24T22:04:00.000+07:00

Admittedly I am no Einstein when it comes to understanding investments and the economy. The extent of my knowledge of banks failing is what I learned from watching It's a Wonderful Life.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. During the last Great Depression we had much less media and access to information than we do now. With the Internet and hundreds of channels on television solely devoted to US financial issues even a Walmart employee can easily access information if they so desire.

Will this help prevent total panic? Will people chill and not cash out their 401K's? Listening to an economist rather than Ted the butcher may have a positive effect and help quell panic that never helps stabilize anything.

I may be wrong but to me it makes sense that the economy has to suffer major downturns once in a while, it is cyclical like anything else. I am not going to start stuffing cash under my mattress. I know my 401K is now a 201K but I am going to ride it out and hope for the best.

Making me laugh for 3 days in a row now

2009-02-24T09:12:00.000+07:00

If you can watch this all the way through without laughing hysterically you have issues.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vASd3QGn8eo

Pathos and Pedestals, how the mighty have fallen

2009-02-22T09:15:00.000+07:00

I am truly terrible at noticing if people change the furniture in their home, get a new car, lose weight etc. It gets me in trouble with my family all the time.

Here is what I never miss: I will notice if you did not get enough sleep, if you twirl your hair when tired, fidget when you lie, or if you got laid right before work. I know if someone is preggo before they start to show by the changes in their skin. Once I know your cadence and expressions good luck getting something by me. If you are a badly damaged person I can sense it after 5 minutes or less of conversation. Likewise I know if you have had good therapy after talking to you for maybe a half an hour. I know if your parents were alcoholics. I know when you are lying or about to lie.

I have a girlfriend I work with and when I noticed she had a tremor I was very worried about her health. I asked our other friends and none of them had noticed it. I approached her about it telling her I wanted her to see a neurologist. She laughed and told me I was the only person in a year to notice that she had a mild tic due to tourette's..

With this extreme pathos I find myself with an ability to see heroic flickers in an otherwise unremarkable person. So far this pans out with them falling off the pedestal in rapid fashion. A flicker alone is not usually strong enough to survive and be a dominant quality.

I find myself wondering, is it a gift or a curse that I have? Is it possible for me to hone these skills to include sensing the deficits as easily as I sense the strengths? I know that I developed these skills as a young child trying to read adults that often kept things from me and talked in whispers. Later when working with non verbal adults all I had to go on were gestures, facial movements, sometimes just the flick of a wrist.

If you wonder, yes I am also painfully aware of both my weaknesses and strengths, I try to push through the weaknesses with sheer will, with mixed success.

I was recently told by someone that they hated people.. I never feel that way. I love people with all their flawed humanity and feet of clay.

This Litter Sponsored by The Gap

2009-02-10T07:58:00.000+07:00

When are we going to stop rewarding people with free homes, cars and wardrobes for pimping their families?

We all know about the lady in Cali who just had octuplets. She is a single Mom living with her mother and already had 6 kids at home.She left the country to find an unscrupulous Doctor willing to inseminate her with multiple embryos.

She is actively pursuing the media and sponsors to help her take care of her new litter of children.I saw her tonight on inside edition smirking and pouting for the camera. Nauseating.

How far are we going to take reality TV before we realize what it is doing to our society?

Children raised in front of a camera crew on a reality show are going to have some pretty strange perceptions about the world and what is important. I would like to see the studies done on these kids 20 years later.

The Truman Show really does not seem so far fetched anymore.I wonder how many years before the glut of reality shows makes us so jaded that anything goes. Remember when a bare ass or a curse shocked us?

I would not be surprised if reality TV airs deaths in the years to come. Maybe we can have sponsors for the coffins and gravestones.

Supplements and the quick fix scam

2009-02-05T23:34:00.000+07:00

I wrote this in June of last year.
Trace Minerals.com an analysis of the products vs. scientific evidence

The first claim that grabs me off the bat is the one that states through soil erosion trace minerals are being taken from the soil and being swept into the sea. This now compels you to buy supplements derived from the ocean to replace these essential minerals. Here is the scare pitch:

The complexity of the mineral imbalance problem is apparent. It is apparent that our understanding of the mechanisms of mineral imbalances is fragmentary. New inter-relationships are constantly being discovered. We are presently recognizing and correcting only a small fraction of the mineral imbalance problems plaguing animals and man. 5*5.Hoekstra, W.G. Federation Proceedings. National Academy of Sciences: Washington D.C. (Sept./ Oct., 1964).

The complexity of the mineral balance problem is apparent? Mineral imbalances are plaguing animals and man? No studies to back this scary statement up. As a matter of fact no normal American that follows the Dietary guidelines for Americans has any risk of having a vitamin deficiency. The main groups of Americans that are malnourished are the obese population.

This plays into the new marketing technique of why Americans are so unhealthy. It is not because we sit all day, eat fast food and do not exercise, it is because of over aggressive farming, soils erosion and mineral imbalances. The solution is not to eat healthy foods, since trace minerals.com alleges that over use of fertilizer is robbing our foods of essential nutrients. We can blame someone else and get the quick fix solution to what ails us.

The other claim made is that if the minerals we intake do not have the proper ionic charge they cannot be properly absorbed? I spoke with Dr. John Snider M.D a medical internist and teacher at Tufts Medical School and after he stopped laughing he told me this is false and that the small intestine will absorb minerals without you worrying about how ionically charged they are. I have been unable to find any reliable medical sources indicating that this is backed up with any science.

The trace minerals once abundant in our soils are gone because of "overaggressive farming" whatever that means. The site claims synthetic fertilizers are only good for plants and are missing elements humans need. Fertilizer is fertilizer; it enriches the soil causing plants to grow. There are no scientific studies I can find linking synthetic fertilizer with less nutritious crops. Here is a quote from quack watch:

Plants convert natural fertilizers into the same chemicals that synthetic fertilizers supply. The vitamin content of a food is determined by its genetic makeup Stephen Barrett, M.D.
Victor Herbert, M.D., J.D.
The Traceminerals.com has a clever pitch, peppered with scare tactics with enough medical word thrown in to sound pseudo- intellectual, but with no real data other than the articles written by the founder Dr. Meltis who is not an MD but a Naturopath.

The phenomenon of quick fix, take a pill, blame someone else that is pervasive in our culture is a gold mine for the supplement charlatans. We are willing to spend untold mounts of money to ensure our longevity. The fact that the ads also lay the blame elsewhere is a particularly appealing marketing technique.

Added 2/05/2009

I am seeing more of this junky science trickling into real life and it scares me. Parents of Autistic children who have no medical back round at all are allowing Chelation treatments for their children. Chelation treatment has no scientific support as a treatment for Autism. It is supposed to remove lead and arsenic from poisoned people.

Can we please stop pretending we are all doctors? Can we stop thinking anecdotal evidence is good enough to do something as drastic as chelation?

Can we stop trying to quick fix and use science to our advantage?

Bah!

Survival of the fittest brain

2009-01-27T05:18:00.000+07:00

I was talking to my friend Jon about my take on survival of the fittest. Weirdly I think about this stuff a lot because of reality TV. When I see the commercials for survivor I think, I am diabetic, I would never survive without the modern comforts that I have. If I got stuck in the woods with no carbohydrates would I know what to eat to stay alive?

Modern nutrition, vaccines and medical technology have usurped some of the importance in having physical strength or stamina. Someone like Steven Hawkins who is medically fragile and not able to speak without technology can communicate mind boggling quantum gravity.

Thinking about modern ways of conceiving via in vitro fertilization also adds another layer to who is surviving now. I wonder what it will all mean in another 100 years. Will the entire idea concept of who is fittest be completely different?

If we did not have all of these tools to help us survive what would our society look like now?

Autism and Scientology

2009-01-09T06:30:00.000+07:00

I did write a blog about my thoughts on Jett Travolta's untimely death and whether or not I think he is Autistic.I got almost a dozen emails asking me where my post was.My desire to discuss autism is tempered by my gut. I am not going to publish it. An innocent child is gone.I do not know anything about this child or his medical history.I know he was sheltered from the media and looked well cared for.

I do not have to make money from my blog and do not wish to feed into the machine of corpse pickers in our media who ghoulishly delight in the sorrow of the famous.The adults who chose to be in that industry are one thing but the children they have should be left alone.

The rest of it is left to god or Buddha or whoever you pray to at night.I pray that his parents can go on through what must be the most terrible pain a human can experience, losing their child.

Blessings,
Kelly

Part One: Society's Barriers against evil

2008-11-29T07:00:00.000+07:00

Sometimes my optimism is a curse. I am often naive and gullible and disappointed when I am proven wrong about people. The other part of me wants to hang on to optimism because it usually serves me well. I started to realize a few years ago that I am practicing mostly Buddhist methodology in my daily life. Well, minus abstaining from cursing and drinking.

Karma is not fate, because we act with free will and creating our own destiny. If we are good, we will receive goodness; if we are evil, we will receive evil. Karma refers to the totality of our actions and its cumulative reactions in this and previous lives, all of which determines our fate. The benefits of karma lie in intelligent action and dispassionate response.

This does not mean that bad things don’t happen to wonderful and good people, this is usually the unfortunate consequence of free will and other people deciding not to follow the right path. I believe that these people who cause harm to others will be dealt with Karmically. I see it happen every day.

The man who killed my friend by driving drunk and high and tried to flee the scene. I wished so many bad things would happen to him. Then I started thinking about how gentle and kind my friend was. He never complained about anything. I had to let go of some of my hate. Two years later I found an old article on a website for a local newspaper had dozens of comments on the article about my friends death. People that knew this man who killed my friend all had terrible things to say about him. I read with awe about this mans life. It was like the opposite of George Bailey. I can’t imagine being that kind of person day in and out. I think he is reaping the karma he deserves. The universe does not embrace him. There is less chance for peace and true happiness if you are too afraid or too selfish.Self protecting mechanisms can blind you to really amazing people and experiences.

I have read Ann Rand and thought a lot about individualism and libertarianism. There are parts that can be gleaned for all of these seemingly opposing ideologies. I was initially resistant to reading the Lucifer principal because the basic theory of inherently evil man bothered me. However as I read it I do see the social groupings, clusters of behaviors be them good or evil. We are all basically animals, some of us are better able to adapt and cope without resorting to base and violent behaviors.

I believe most people are good. I think organized religion and fear does keep a tether on mans behavior and helps create social norms. I personally believe if the only reason you are doing something good is because you don’t want to go to hell ..it is not really a truly good act.

I am going to take a closer look at all of these ideologies and continue with a few more blogs.

Best Cusses While Driving

2008-11-25T04:33:00.000+07:00

I am always looking for new and creative ways to swear at drivers who irritate me. I used an oldie but goodie yesterday when a gentleman cut me off in traffic and then had to idle next to me at a red light. I politely told him: EAT A BOWL OF DICKS! OK, I didn't really say it politely, I kind of yelled it. It felt fucking great too! It was not my most creative moment but it was funny when his female passenger looked at me in shock.

There is a weird blip that happens when we are in our cars, we turn into
barbarians, you will say things that you would NEVER say if you were standing in a crowd. My *relative* practically froths at the mouth when she drives..it pretty damn entertaining.

I actually saw my *relative edit* throw a lit cigarette into a car of a yuppie-doofus who cut us off in traffic. I saw another *friend* throw a hand full of pennies at a car that nearly ran us off road.

I have never thrown anything, I get more enjoyment out of yelling because people truly do not expect it from me. ( I look sweet and even demure from far enough away)Proper use of vulgarity is my god given talent. I hope you cut me off in traffic someday so I can show you what Ive got in the arsenal.

Santa Baby

2008-11-19T11:40:00.000+07:00

Dear Santa,

I know you read my blog cause I have your ip address there at the north pole. I have been a really good girl this year. OK not really good, but pretty good.

I want a furby pigmy

a forensic microscope

a taser

and a stocked wine cellar

If you could do that I would be ever so grateful.

Love,
Kelly

Why do I live the cliche?

2008-11-16T06:24:00.000+07:00

Sometimes I feel like I am missing some important domestic girl genes. For example when I go into a Bed Bath and Beyond I am totally clueless and overwhelemed by the stuff there. I have never bought a curtain in my life, my sisters and cousins pick them out for me. I lke furniture sort of but I dont have that passion that my friends have for decorating my home. There is one thing that makes me feel connected to my girlness.I have an intense and deep love of shoes. I don't buy clothes that often. I spend more money on books than anything else.

OK that is a HUGE lie I just told you.

I spend more money on shoes than anything else. I can't help myself. When I go into a shoe store I feel my heart race, my palms itch and tingle. As I gaze with adoration at the gleaming little jewels. My brain immediately matches them with my clothes and I am in trouble.

In my fantasies I have a custom made walk in shoe closet a la Mariah Carey MTV cribs episode. Shut up, I know godamn well you have seen it too.

Well I guess cliches become cliches for a reason.

Dear Paul 10/14/2007

2008-11-15T09:34:00.000+07:00

Paul,
You have been gone for well over a year. I still can't talk about you in the past tense. I still have one email, the last one 2 days before you were killed, in my work email inbox. I may have to stay at this company forever to preserve that last link between us.

I can still close my eyes and instantly see you, smiling and laughing. Lording over me as I drew a flower for your best girl...making me laugh with wicked, vile emails..that I now have memorized.

I still want to talk to you about silly things. What do you think about Amy Winehouse? Discuss with you how much I inexplicably love Les Claypool, you get that...Dylan too. Thanks for remembering me for a moment after you passed, by placing some Cd's I lent you out in plain view on my dresser .I know they were not there the night before.

I am still heartsick, still sore...still trying to find a way to rewind time and erase what was done to take you from all of us.Still missing you.

Love,
Kelly

11/14/08
Two years now and I still miss you. I still have that email in my inbox.We won't ever forget about you sweetheart.

Jenny McCarthy can cure autism

2008-10-23T22:05:00.000+08:00

Just ask her, she seems to know that Autism is not genetic. She instead says she has proof that her family cannot detox vaccines? She also states that there is still themerosal in vaccines.

People often ask me what I think about her, and I always say that I am glad she brings attention to Autism. I feel a real connection with her that only another Mother with an autistic child can truly understand. I understand the sweetness of getting those small rewards of shared attention.I know what it is to work day after day to reach in and pull your child out of their small world.I also think she is a wonderful Mother who is clearly attached and devoted to her boy.

Now that Jenny is affiliated with Operation Rescue her statements are bolder and more controversial. In people magazine she said "How can 15 years of anecdotal evidence be wrong?"

Ummm, anecdotal evidence is often unscientific or pseudo scientific because various forms of bias can affect the collection of evidence. When a cause can be easily linked to an effect, people overestimate the likelihood of the cause having that effect. In particular, emotionally-charged anecdotes seem more plausible, and are given greater weight.

I am quoting here from wilkepedia A common way anecdotal evidence becomes unscientific is through fallacious reasoning such as the Post hoc ergo propter hoc fallacy, the human tendency to assume that if one event happens after another, then the first must be the cause of the second. Another fallacy involves inductive reasoning. For instance, if an anecdote illustrates a desired conclusion rather than a logical conclusion, it is considered a faulty or hasty generalization.[9] For example, here is anecdotal evidence presented as proof of a desired conclusion:

"There's abundant proof that God exists and is still performing miracles today. Just last week I read about a girl who was dying of cancer. Her whole family went to church and prayed for her, and she was cured."

What about all the parents like me, who have not detoxified our child's diet and environment, but instead have used more traditional treatments like ABA, PT,OT,ST. Wearing your child, using attachment parenting. This is the methodology I use with my 6 year old and he is also making huge gains everyday. About 80% of the time now the fact that he is autistic is not detectable to someone observing him now.

If I were to 100% buy into anecdotal evidence I would say the fact that I wore my son almost all of the time in his first year of life may be the reason he has always been able to attach to me and really should be used for all infants.

I am asked all the time (forgive me for always using my same analogy I am a simple girl). Kelly, do you think autism is genetic?

I think part of it is genetic. I believe there are a few triggers. I believe you must have some genetic predisposition to autism.I believe the other triggers could be environmental, maybe vaccines, maybe a virus.

Pull the lever of the slot machine:(the three cherries still really undefined)

genetic predisposition
toxins
allergy

get 3 cherries and you have Autism and belong to a club you never thought you would join.

I am glad Jenny is bringing a voice to Autism. I wish I could be heard as loudly as she is because if I had access to that publicity there are things I want to share with parents beyond scaring the shit out of them about vaccines.

This is what I want you to know:

The earlier Autism is detected the better. We need to fight for access to intensive early intervention with the most effective treatments. Many states do not have the basic services that have been proven to be necessary for reaching an Autistic child.I would love to work on making people aware of that as my full time job. If anyone wishes to hire me to do this let me know.I am not as hot as Jenny but I am charming as hell.

There are many variations that fall under the Autism umbrella. I would use my publicity to talk about the different behaviors and skills and misconceptions that are currently out there about Autism.

I would address the new SHOCK jock attitude that most Autistic kids are really just spoiled. This is so damaging and really hurts the perceptions that people have.

Early detection is crucial!

Jenny, if you read this I want to have a beer with you and talk about shoes someday.

Ok I am gonna jump off my soapbox now. Thanks for listening.

Suck it autism part deux

2008-10-18T12:00:00.001+08:00

My son is now in first grade. When he gets off the bus we usually hang out with all the other parents and kids for a bit, enjoying the day and letting the kids blow off a little steam.

Today my son did something I have never seen him do before. He got off bus and started to run and chase and older boy that he did not know. They spontaneously started a game of tag.

Number one, I have never seen my son without being coerced play any physical type game ever. Two, he rarely used to even look at people he did not know. Three, he is running! Laughing! Yelling! Making eye contact with this kid.

I am standing there with tears running down my face. I flashback to age 2 silent, playing on the floor with his trains. Age 3, reciting dialogue from movies and commercials but rarely having meaningful conversations.

Now, handsome and engaging he seeks out other children to play. He is blooming slowly but this is one blossom worth waiting for.

Debates... Yawn

2008-09-29T09:38:00.000+08:00

I watched the debates mainly to see if McCain would be able to show some charisma.I already knew that the debates reveal little to nothing about actual platforms and policy. The two candidates cautiously circle each other, frozen smiles in place. Through gritted teeth they try to best their opponent without seeming aggressive. Defend their statements without seeming defensive. They are too careful,too modulated, too fake. Of course nobody wants to be perceived as too emotional a la Howard Dean. Don't be wooden like Al Gore.

My friend tall Kelly is an Obama supporter.I am a McCain supporter. So I asked her who she thought did better and she said "well they both did OK, but I thought Obama was a little better.I told her I thought they both did well but I thought McCain did a little better. Basically this conversation between Kelly's proved to me how useless these debates are.

Then Tall Kelly said she thought they should spice it up, maybe play some games, have some free style rap. I think this is an excellent idea.

Wilkepedia for Muppet lovers

2008-09-29T09:05:00.000+08:00

http://muppet.wikia.com

Those who know me are aware i am a tad obssesed with sesame street and muppet characters. This site is fabulous and lists all of the obscure puppets over the years on the show.

summer goals update

2008-09-02T21:39:00.000+08:00

I posted these in june

Goals for summer:
Learn to throw a javelin. billy blanks tae bo instead

Learn a new language, or at least be able to talk dirty in another language i learned some dirty phrases

Read a few non medical/nursing books read 5 non medical books

quit smoking AGAIN (I quit for 7 years and started again, because I am stupid)at the moment am not smoking

Go to a vineyard, have never been to one sadly no

create enough painting to have a show somewhere well on my way

be still (this will be the hardest one next to javelin)failure

learn to swing a gold club working on it and can hit the ball straight but only 50 yards

You either get it or you don't

2008-08-23T20:49:00.000+08:00

there is no perfect life or perfect place to live,

there are fleeting moments and images, painful and sweet

noticing those notes, smells, tastes and remembering them

attempting to give good karma out into the world..not to achieve total consciousness
but because you just feel right doing so

moments of laughing, yelling, being rebellious and obnoxious,

having people that can hear you even when you won't talk

my own needs are so simple and my rules are too

I want to end each day knowing that if it was my last, my friends would know exactly how I feel about them

I can still be embarrased

2008-08-13T00:55:00.000+08:00

I did not think it was possible to make me blush anymore. I used to work with severely mentally challenged adults who would steal coffee, drop trou in public, rip price tags off all the clothing in stores...I handled this all with aplomb.

My three year old daughter accompanied me to David's bridal where I had to be fitted for a bridesmaids dress. If you are familiar with this store when you try on dresses you walk into a public area that has mirrors covering the walls and platforms where you can stand and look at the gown.

As I came out each time in a new dress my daughter would exclaim "Mommy wearing red! Mommy wearing pink!"...after about the 6th gown I came out and stepped on podium next to 2 brides to be in wearing their beautiful potential dresses.

My three year old crowed

"Mommy! Where is your vagina?"...I ignored her and looked around nervously...so far brides ignoring me and her.

MOM WHERE DID YOUR VAGINA GO?

MOMMY IS YOUR VAGINA STILL HERE?

She grabs the gown and pulls it up and climbs under my dress...at this point all the sweet 20 something brides and their Moms are totally listening and looking out of the corners of their eyes at us.

I whisper desperately, "Honey it is still there, lets not talk about this now ok?"
She is quiet for a moment and smiles up at me.

I start to relax and she follows me into my changing room. I take off the gown and I am whispering to her. "Honey we need to be quiet in front of all the ladies ok?"

She decided this would be a good time to leave the changing room and flings the door open as I stand there in a bra and panties. She turns and looks at me and yells

"Mommy there is your vagina, and your tattoo!"

Nice...blushing as I see the fleeting glances of the horrified women ..I manage to dress quickly and grab my girl's hand and retreat from the store.

Viva La Drag Queen!

2008-08-04T08:29:00.000+08:00

I saw a great Drag Cabaret Show in Boston last night.The over exaggeration of all that is feminine plus their long limbs and wide shoulders gives the drag queen a kind of fierce, in your face beauty.
They move their limbs in a liquid and sexual way, much more so than a girl would need to. Everything is amped up, color contacts, fake eyelashes,glitter, paint, red lips.
I resent the time it takes to apply my mascara. Every day I take my femininity for granted even when I am strident in my berks and hoodie.

It is obvious why certain female pop stars like Cher, Whitney, Brittany who emulate this exaggerated femininity are iconoclastic. One thing I am interested in is why heterosexual women love drag queens so much? I joked with my girlfriends about my confusing feelings when the Britney queen came by and kissed me. She was beautiful and seductive and fascinating.
We like their boldness, fearlessness and fashion exaggeration because we would never pull off those sequins and rock those stilettos like a 6 foot 5 drag queen can. I am now thinking that Gwen Stefani may actually be a drag queen.

Bad girls, bold girls, girls who are fierce and in your face! I realized as they all came out on the stage singing Lady Marmelade and all of the drunk girls were screaming along this is what we love about them…they are paying us the highest compliment that they possibly can and we love them right back!

Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir all my sisters and me!

My final wishes

2008-07-31T10:26:00.000+08:00

Yes just being melodramatic kids..I have had 2 major asthma attacks in 2 weeks that included a lovely trip to the hospital for air. it got me to thinking about my final wishes.

1. Mayor Menino is finally correctly diagnosed with downs syndrome
2. Jeremy Jacobs sells the Bruins to somebody who actually gives a shit about the Stanley Cup
3. I learn to hit the golf ball more than 50 yards
4. I never have to shovel snow..I guess when I am dead that will happen anyways
5. Manscaping is abolished
6. somebody sterilizes Paris Hilton before it is too late
7. one more trip to vegas with a HUGE bag of money

Sista Please!

2008-07-30T08:47:00.000+08:00

Please, somebody give this woman a sandwich. She looks like the crypt keeper.

Michael Savage is a giant bag of shit

2008-07-27T08:55:00.000+08:00

Michael Savage radio personality, shock jock has made the following declarations about Autism on July 16th:
“Now, you want me to tell you my opinion on autism? … A fraud, a racket.”
Now, the illness du jour is autism. You know what autism is? I’ll tell you what autism is. In 99 percent of the cases, it’s a brat who hasn’t been told to cut the act out. That’s what autism is.

What do you mean they scream and they’re silent? They don’t have a father around to tell them, “Don’t act like a moron. You’ll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don’t sit there crying and screaming, idiot.”

Autism — everybody has an illness. If I behaved like a fool, my father called me a fool. And he said to me, “Don’t behave like a fool.” The worst thing he said — “Don’t behave like a fool. Don’t be anybody’s dummy. Don’t sound like an idiot. Don’t act like a girl. Don’t cry.” That’s what I was raised with. That’s what you should raise your children with. Stop with the sensitivity training. You’re turning your son into a girl, and you’re turning your nation into a nation of losers and beaten men. That’s why we have the politicians we have.

Michael,
You have every right to spew stupid inflammatory bile, but I also have the right to blog about what an uninformed fucktard you are when it comes to Autsim.

You do not deserve to breathe the same air as my autistic child. People like you help spread misinformation and perpetuate the idea that autism is just a behavioral problem. I would think with all of your college education you would have more sense than to say something so moronic.

I do not think you should be taken of air just because you are a blowhard, full of yourself, jackass. I am enjoying watching all of your sponsor's drop you like a steaming turd though. I think we know who the real loser is.

One out of 133 children are now diagnosed with Autism, they could be your sponsor's kids, your bosses kids, your relatives kids.
Karma is one nasty bitch Michael, I will enjoy watching it swing right back into your blustery piehole.

Unwashed Masses

2008-07-20T09:19:00.000+08:00

I have discovered some important things about me and theme parks today:

not using valet parking sucks

the unwashed masses are as gross and impolite as you would suspect

nobody is pleasant in 100 degree weather waiting in a line for 80 minutes

there should be a law passed against wearing a two piece when you are more than 30 pounds overweight

I am fully aware I would never survive boot camp, living in a 3rd world country or any reality show.

if you bring your 7 day old newborn to a theme parks on a 100 degree day you should not have been allowed to procreate

Esse es percipi?

2008-07-14T11:22:00.000+08:00

Nah, that's bullshit. People perceive what they want to perceive. They drag in all of their own burdens and prejudices. They also sometimes attach wonderful attributes that are totally undeserved. It can make the fall from the pedestal very hard indeed.

I find that some of the people who tell me they are very good at reading people are the least perceptive of all.Most people are complex, especially the ones that crow about how simple they are.If a girl tells you she is simple, run! She thinks she is simple but she is a giant pain in the ass.

Some work hard at exuding a personae, some people never think about such things.A good friend of mine teases me for being so optimistic all the time about people.When I get upset about common sense not being used he says, "Kelly why the hell do you assume people have common sense?" I have no idea why, but I do believe this. I slap this baggage of my own on to others. I believe that people will rise to the occasion when they are given the hope and the chance. I prefer to be disappointed on occasion and give people the benefit of the doubt.

fighting for her rights in her satin tights

2008-07-05T07:36:00.001+08:00

Wonder Woman can change her outfit just by spinning around. I can't tell you how many times I tried to do that when I was a little girl only to get dizzy and fall down,still in my keds and garanimal shorts.Then she can lasso you and force you to tell her how hot she is.

I think one of the reasons I like looking at drawings of old pinup girls is the superhero quality that they have. They capture the over the top voluptuousness and powerful femininity of a superhero. As a girl the costumes and accessories are appealing as well. Batman has a car that matches his Bat Suit. There is a bit of dandy in all of the superheroes. The spoofs on Saturday night live The Ambiguously Gay Duo hits the nail right on the head. They are wearing tights and fab belts and boots aren't they? Nobody can accessorize quite like a gay man.

What are you looking at?

"Nothing!"

I Believe In Robot Love

2008-07-04T20:32:00.000+08:00

Too much evil

2008-07-03T11:37:00.000+08:00

SALEM, Mass. — A woman has been charged with withholding cancer medication from her 8-year-old autistic son, who prosecutors say likely will die because the cancer has returned

There is too much evil in this world. Why do people like this have children? Stories like this fill me with helplessness and useless anger.

There are so many wonderful things about being a parent, we hear about ad nauseum. I want to tell you about the bad thing. It opens and grows your heart leaving it exposed and vulnerable.You start life out with a weak flutter of emotions revolving all around meeting your own needs and desires.

You feel that core splinter into pieces when you first become a parent. All the self absorption rushes out, and you are flooded with overwhelming new feelings.
When children are abused like this it hurts you in this new raw skin.

Tuesday Observations

2008-07-01T22:07:00.000+08:00

smoked for 10 years, quit for 7 years
started again about 2 months ago (wicked smaht kelly)
quit again 4.5 days ago

cranky, aggressive, pugnacious
and trying to potty train a 3 year old with an iron will

how will it all turn out?

did you ever see the movie texas chainsaw massacre?
I'm just sayin.

The Muppets as diagnosed by DSM

2008-06-30T11:08:00.000+08:00

My friend Rick and I were discussing the assorted mental health issues on Sesame Street and the Muppet Show.

Cookie monster, Bulimia
The Count, OCD
Oscar, Avoidant and Anger management issues
Miss Piggy Borderline Personality Disorder
Gonzo Chicken fetish
Janice, Heroin addict
Grover Dementia
Animal ADHD
Big Bird Retarded and also delusional (he thinks snuphalupagus is real)
Ernie and Bert..I really don't need to even say.

Life on Mars, Prego teens, Compliments

2008-06-28T10:49:00.001+08:00

Recent soil samples have shown a PH that indicated the soil on Mars once interacted with water and that the soil is favorable for turnips, asparagus and some bacterias.

They are planning to take another sample in the hopes of finding some carbon.I have always suspected that I am from Mars, perhaps it really is true.

In other news the Gloucester Ma pregnancy pact is still all over the media. Warning of the dangers of unprotected sex? NO..they media is picking at the statements about it being a pregnancy pact. Aren't we focusing on the wrong thing here?

What effing difference does it make if they made a pact or not? 17 children are pregnant..lets use this teachable moment and not squander it into a he said she said debate.

I was paid a compliment today.My cousin told me that I am the most logical person she knows. I am not sure how deserving it is and I am not being modest here. As someone who is dipping her toes into the science world now I am thrilled to be given that compliment since I will truly need that skill.Maybe if I start to believe the hype that will help.

If I was a dude

2008-06-27T07:05:00.000+08:00

If I was a dude, I would be Ralph Macchio apparently.

Intolerant Douchebags

2008-06-25T01:00:00.000+08:00

For the past 36 years I have made observations about tolerance and discrimination. I have come to some conclusions about how I should deal with intolerance and have leaned much from people who deal with it better and more gracefully than I do.

The most helpful person in my life was my ex boyfriend. He has a prosthetic leg and an amazing calmness and grace when confronted with morons. I would feel my blood boiling and remember him gently putting his hand on my shoulder to calm me down.He never let people staring bother him at all. I also remember some little kids, naturally curious about him at the beach coming up to us and asking him what happened and what his leg was made of. I have a shit memory but I can recall every detail of that day. Him laughing and explaining it to the kids and their total interest and innocent curiosity.

I try very hard to model that grace when I have to deal with intolerance.I still snap sometimes but I am willing to keep working on it.

I am a work in progress these days.

Tuesday Observations

2008-06-25T00:48:00.000+08:00

Glucose IV $27
Caramel lollipop $1
Orange juice rush delivered by freaked out friends $2
Gatorade $2
ER copay $100

Not taking a hypoglycemic header at work in high heels, priceless

Insecure Douchebags watch out!

2008-06-24T05:26:00.001+08:00

As I get older I get bitchier, more opinionated and a lot more vocal. I have a pet peeve about people mistreating cashiers and clerks and waitresses.
So now that I don't give a shit what most people think of me I have started to say things when I see that happening.

Often I will say loudly "Wow being rude to a cashier, nice"
Or "That is embarrassing to listen to"
I used to work at Liz Claiborne part time when my son was an infant. The customers were usually pretty nice but some of them were really condescending. I was always polite and generally coerced them into buying even more stuff they did not need.I filed away the particular type of insecure jerk who gets off on yelling at people who are not allowed to defend themselves.I now enjoy outing them and shining a light on their doucheness.

Coming, part II Intolerant Douchebags

Carlin

2008-06-23T19:01:00.000+08:00

I have seven words for you George. Man are we going to miss you.

Jefferson's Jedi's Autism Speaks

2008-06-23T11:29:00.000+08:00

http://www.chrisicreations.com/Awareness.html
The Jefferson Kearney Links Autism Bracelet - Sterling Silver puzzle pieces with Swarovski Cube Crystals $58.00
A portion of the proceeds will be donated to Autism Speaks. (colors and shape of the crystals can be changed)
Also visit our team page
http://www.walknowforautism.org/c.mhLPKZPELmF/b.3616197/siteapps/teampage/ShowPage.aspx?c=mhLPKZPELmF&b=3616197&sid=fmJ1IhPYJnLXKfPXKqG

1 in 150 children is diagnosed with autism
1 in 94 boys is on the autism spectrum
67 children are diagnosed per day
A new case is diagnosed almost every 20 minutes
More children will be diagnosed with autism this year than with AIDS, diabetes & cancer combined
Autism is the fastest-growing serious developmental disability in the U.S.
Autism costs the nation over $35 billion per year, a figure expected to significantly increase in the next decade
Autism receives less than 5% of the research funding of many less prevalent childhood diseases
Boys are four times more likely than girls to have autism
There is no medical detection or cure for autism

Incidence vs. Private Funding
Leukemia: Affects 1 in 25,000 / Funding: $310 million
Muscular Dystrophy: Affects 1 in 20,000 / Funding: $175 million
Pediatric AIDS: Affects 1 in 8,000 / Funding: $394 million
Juvenile Diabetes: Affects 1 in 500 / Funding: $130 million
Autism: Affects 1 in 150 / Funding: $15 million

An Ode to J-Dawg

2008-06-23T11:18:00.000+08:00

Little man,

blonde head,

crouched over your star fighter,

roger, roger,

you live inside that ship,

a Jedi..always a good guy,

repeating the comfortable phrases,

I always know what you need me to say,

yes, he is a good guy,

yes, the green light saber,

no baby you are the best Jedi,

he gives me that smile,

beautiful and content,

towhead bending down again

back to work fighting evil

Troublemakers

2008-06-22T10:23:00.000+08:00

I was talking to tall Kelly about famous troublemakers. I told her Abbie Hoffman is always the first person that comes to mind. Writer of Steal this book! Which of course people did. Until sellers started refusing to carry the book.

I adore troublemakers! Especially the ones I totally disagree with. They force you out of your own little box you live in and confront new ideas. I admire them not caring that they are ridiculed and slandered for speaking their opinions. It takes a pretty brave person to withstand the media onslaught if you voice an unpopular opinion.

I am fascinated by the intense hatred and media attitudes towards some current personalities. If I say the name Ann Coulter in a room full of people in Boston I usually have to wipe spit off my face because people start frothing at the mouth!The Internet is full of photo shopped pictures of her attempting to make her less attractive. Good luck guys, she is gorgeous and fearless and she is intentionally provoking you!

Bill O Reilly, who really does drive me crazy, also entertains me. Same goes for Keith Oberman. They have a joie de vivre and passion and I have to admire it.

I am not one who enjoys having political arguments, I prefer to listen to people I disagree with to try and learn about why they have come to their conclusions. Tall Kelly is very liberal, also very well read and informed. I have learned a lot from her and enjoy talking about politics with her.

I am happy that people protest and rally about things they believe in. It is part of what make America such a beautiful place. Complacency is easy and lazy. Speaking up and trying to make change is very hard and not for the mild mannered.

for frame of reference there are three Kelly's, tall Kelly is the pretty liberal, Hot Kelli is the fashionista and then me, short Kelly the nerdy one with the big yapper.

Get your head out of your ass

2008-06-20T21:31:00.000+08:00

I live in an upper class suburbia. We are famous for two things now. Being the start of the Boston Marathon and the Neil Entwhistle murders. The case was especially hard for me because my daughter was the exact same age as the poor baby girl who was killed.It haunted me and I refused to watch any TV coverage about it.

I have to be honest, I have always felt like a visitor in my town for a number of reasons.The behavior displayed after these murders really gave me clarity as to why I dislike this town. At the market I heard "Well, they just moved here, they are not really from here". The local free papers pretended IT NEVER HAPPENED. Seriously they made mention once of the fact they did not want to talk about it.I wrote a letter a few years back to this same paper bitching about how the town overspends and then bullies us into overrides by saying 911 may not be as readily available if we vote no. I compared it to being sweet talked by Tony Soprano about an offer I can't refuse.

Not only did they NOT print the letter I had a message on my answering machine saying " I did not understand the repercussions or the override failing" and that was the newspaper calling me.I kept waiting for the fish wrapped in the paper to be delivered to my house.

This head in the sand mentality is not helpful. Look at Gloucester Massachusetts. 17 girls make a pact to intentionally get pregnant and help each other raise the babies?
As a parent I realize you can't possibly cover all scenarios to protect your children. That being said pregnancy, birth control and what Mom and Dad will do if you are ever so stupid or careless as to get pregnant at age 15..that should be covered, continuously, until they understand.

I knew as a teen if I came home drunk, stoned, with an F or pregnant I was dead meat.It was drilled into me every Friday before i went out. They were not trying to be my best pal, or a Dina Lohan party Mom...they told me what was expected of me. They also told me they would never disown me for these offences, but I would be in so much trouble I would wish for being disowned. Fair enough.

I see the permissive celebrity culture filtering into my New England. We need a quick injection of common sense and accountability stat!

Coolest Boy ever!

2008-06-20T07:39:00.001+08:00

We decided Celtic green hair was the way to go today.

It is SO GOOD TO LIVE IN BOSTON, SO GOOD, SO GOOD, SO GOOD!

Sex and Science

2008-06-19T23:51:00.000+08:00

I just finished reading BONK The curious coupling of science and sex. I love Mary Roach she is exhaustive in her research and impossible to embarrass. She is also hysterically funny. Mixing humor and science really needs to be done more often. It certainly helps people like me who love science but have short attention spans.

Here are some factoids to ponder:

Masters and Johnson created a penis cam to document physiological changes in the woman's body during sex. You can even buy them, they are called PPV.

The ads from the early 1900 for vibrators are fascinating. I plan on collecting them now. The term hysteria as you may already know was coined for women in the Victorian era who were widowed and thought to be on the way to crazy town if they did not have orgasms.The therapy was administered by midwifes and doctors.

The book also reveals that during sex, afflictions such as stuttering and CP are quieted or shut off for that time. The human body so bent on procreation seems to cure all ills during sex.

I don't want to spoil all of your fun, you have to read this book!

That thong th thong thong thong

2008-06-19T21:09:00.000+08:00

From associated press:
Los Angeles woman claims she was injured by her Victoria's Secret thong, prompting her to sue the underwear manufacturer.

The plaintiff in the case, Macrida Patterson, 52, attributed the May 2007 injury to a Victoria's Secret "low-rise v-string," according to a court document posted on The Smoking Gun.

Patterson's lawyer told The Smoking Gun that a "design problem" caused a decorative metallic piece on the underwear to fly up and hit Patterson in the eye while she was putting the underwear on.

Patterson's product liability lawsuit was filed in Los Angeles Superior Court last week.

The Smoking Gun reported that, prior to the lawsuit, officials from Victoria's Secret had asked to see the offending underwear but were refused by Patterson's lawyer.

I realize thongs are sometimes necessary for certain pants but cmon. She is 57 and a bit heavy set. I would die of embarrassment before I put my ruebenesque ass on national tv and told the world my thong burst and hit me in the eye!

Science pick up lines

2008-06-19T06:44:00.000+08:00

I adore these!

Add your own nerdy pick-up lines in the comments section

1. You’re like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere!

2. I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.

3. You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

4. If I was an enzyme, I’d be helicase so I could unzip your genes.

5. I’m attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force.

6. Baby, you overclock my processor.

7. Be my queen and mate me with your knight moves.

8. Baby, you make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive

9. You make me want to calibrate my joystick without the latest drivers.

10.You defragment my life.

11. Do you think we can make it a step more serious and disable network sharing?

12. You must be auxin, cause you are causing me to have rapid stem elongation.

13. Baby, let me find your nth term.

14. I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?

15. Baby I’ll treat you like my homework — I’ll slam you on the table and do you all night long

16. Hey baby, can I see what’s under your radical?

17. If I were an integral, I’d fill you up.

18. I’m a fermata… hold me

19. I think my heart just lagged.

20. I wish I were your second derivative so I could fill your concavities.

21. Did you just combust?? Because you’re HOT!

22. By looking at you I can tell you’re 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares.

23. It doesn’t take a genius to see how gorgeous you are, but if it did, I would be overqualified.

24. Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call FINE PRINT!

25. What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply

26. Baby, you’re a 9.999999999…but you’d be a 10 if you were with me.

27. Baby, every time I see you, my cardiovascular system gets all worked up

28. I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U.

29. What’s your sine? It must be pi/2 because you’re the 1

30. If my right leg was Christmas and my left was Easter, would you like to spend some time between the holidays?

31. You have nicer legs than an Isosceles right triangle.

32. You’re so cute you make my zygomaticus muscles contract. (Muscles that make you smile)

33. When you and me get together it’s like superposition of 2 waves in phase.

34. Want to meet up so I can excite your natural frequency?

35. If I was sin^2 and you were cos^2 together we would be 1

36. You know.. it’s not the length of the vector that counts… it’s how you apply the force

37. If I move my lips half the distance to yours… and then half again… and again… etc…. would they ever meet? no? Well in this specific case I am going to disprove your assumption.

38. Your name is Leslie? Look, I can spell your name on my calculator!

39. If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?

40. I wish I was an Ion so I could form an exothermic bond with you.

41. If my right leg is the cell wall and my left the membrane, do you want to be the cytoplasm?

42. Our love is like dividing by zero…. you cannot define it

43. Let’s meet somewhere… you bring your beaker and I’ll bring my stirring rod

44. Baby let me be your integral so I can be the area under your curves

45. Hey baby, what’s your tanx cosx?

46. Let’s get together and test the spring potential of my mattress

47. Let’s discover our coefficient of friction

48. Baby, you’re so gneiss I’ll never take you for granite.

49. I less than three you….. (i < 3 you)

50. I heard you’re sin because you’re always on top when we make tangent

from site http://bloggasm.com/50-nerdy-pick-up-lines

Tuesday Observations Simple Pleasures

2008-06-18T03:04:00.000+08:00

waking from a nap with the slider door open and smelling the fresh air and hearing the pink of wind chimes

getting an A...nothing quite like it

getting tired and sweaty after a good workout, especially when I had procrastinated and almost not done it

savoring a new book and no deadlines

the quiet rush of steam escaping from my stove top espresso pot, filling my kitchen with the smell of coffee

watching how engaging and kind my children are

Tuesday's, the only day of the week I am still long enough to reflect

What I want for my birthday

2008-06-17T23:08:00.000+08:00

Ahem, birthday coming up in July. This is what I want.

Product Name: Model 125-LED Cordless Compound Microscope
Product ID: 125-LED

Description: Rechargeable cordless microscope - great for high schools, labs and in the field. Rugged metal construction and locked-on parts ensure durability. Superior DIN optical system and precision mechanical components assure parfocalled and parcentered optical alignment for sharp, unsurpassed viewing. Includes 3 AA rechargeable batteries and battery charger.
FREE GROUND SHIPPING ON THIS MICROSCOPE!

Objective Lenses: DIN 4x, 10x and 40xR objectives are achromatic, parfocalled, parcentered, and color coded.
Eyepieces: Widefield 10x eyepiece with revolving pointer. Accepts optional #965-160 eyepiece reticle.
Total Magnification: 40x, 100x, 400x.
Specimen Stage: Large 110mm x 120mm (4-3/8" x 4-3/4"), with locked-on, spring mounted stage slips, drilled and tapped to accept optional mechanical stage (part #911).
Focusing: Low position coarse and fine focusing, stage moves up and down, slip clutch prevents damage to focusing system. Tension adjustment eliminates stage drift.
Condenser: 0.65 NA condenser.
Illumination: LED light.
Size & Weight: 15" high, 9 lbs.
Warranty: Lifetime limited warranty, excludes bulbs, cords and recharger.
FREE ACCESSORIES: DVD "Adventures with a Microscope", Super Slide Kit and access to our password protected customer resource section of our website!

a shooting star

2008-06-17T06:49:00.000+08:00

Amy Winehouse, so talented and original. I adore her music and I am afraid there may not be many more albums before her star burns out.

Plunging into the sun

2008-06-17T05:16:00.000+08:00

NASA is working on a mission called Solar Probe Plus that will delve deeply into the sun's atmosphere in an attempt to answer two long-standing questions: why the sun's outer atmosphere, or corona, is about 2 million degrees Fahrenheit hotter than its surface, and why solar wind seems to have no organizing force.

Scientists hope the mission launches in 2015 Sweet!

Where have all the cowboys gone?

2008-06-16T10:58:00.000+08:00

It looks like we are still going strong with the whole, metrosexual, uber-sexual male. Like David Beckham and even Ryan Seacrest. Primped, plucked, waxed and label conscious. These guys have primped away all the stuff I like about men.I have a few girlfriends who love Beckham and I am not blind, he is attractive, however he just doesn't do it for me.

As with most trends, this one is sure to backlash when it goes too far. I am looking forward to that day. Bring back the stubble and the football shirts, the baseball hat with the worn brim. I like the lines around your eyes and mouth that prove you laugh and go outside once in a while.Sure removing a unibrow is always a good idea but manscaping? Since when is a hairy chest a bad thing? Men do not need manicures or facials.

Even Harrison Ford who I was crushing on for years, now looks more primped and less rugged.I am tiring of this trend. Out with the Dandy's and bring back the cowboys!

On a separate note, I am also not a fan of the girl waxing her entire vag bald. I don't like it, it seems too weird to me. There should be a happy medium between 70's bush and plucked chicken.

Bird Poop Facials, only in New York!

2008-06-15T06:48:00.000+08:00

A story on CNN.com said women are flocking to Shizuka New York for the Geisha Facial, which contains nightingale poop.
The service costs $180, about $100 more than most of the other services there.
The story said the powder contains an amino acid called guanine, which is thought to brighten skin

Seriously ladies? Are you that desperate to look better you are willing to put excrement from one of gods dirtiest animals on your face? I think you can find similar proclivities in the urban dictionary.I can't write out the term or freaks will find my blog when they google it. been there done that, lesson learned.

On a random note, I like the Urban dictionary word I brick
Apple's iPhone before activation. Refers to how useless it is when it can't do anything, and its striking resemblance to a brick.
I can't activate my iPhone, so I'm sitting at my computer crying and staring at my iBrick.

Tim Russert

2008-06-14T23:31:00.000+08:00

I always thought he was such a cutie pie. My son used to watch meet the press with me when he was a toddler. Now Jefferson is more of a Jim Lehr guy.

I will miss Russert, blessings and love to his family.

My little cherry blossom

2008-06-14T00:44:00.000+08:00

When the doctor held you up for me to see, your Daddy and I both said Oh my god she is HUGE! I then said you looked just like Cartman.
You got to bake under the billi lights for jaundice and you looked SO cute lying there with the eye shield on, it was like a tiny tanning bed.

You had to stay in the NICU for several days because your blood sugars were unstable (Mom's fault for being diabetic)...All the itty bitty premature babies and then you, 9 pounds 12 oz lying amidst them. You looked like the healthiest kid up there.

Jordan you are the light of my life and one of my two most proud achievements. Happy Birthday Pocket Diva

Cherry Blossoms

2008-06-13T08:35:00.000+08:00

Autism the one liners, what to say if you want me to hurt you really bad.

2008-06-12T09:46:00.000+08:00

A good friend of mine just found out his toddler aged son is Autistic. Not really a club I wanted to have to welcome him too. It brings back sharp memories for me and reminds me how very far we have come in accepting and embracing who Jefferson is. I saw my friend flinch when I reminded him I have an Autism Speaks logo tattooed into my skin. He is definitely not there yet.

Some of the most ignorant things ever uttered by supposed neuro-typicals:

Oh, he's like rainman then?

So he's retarded?

Can he play the piano?

Oh, one of those idiots servants or something?

Or the less obvious but still ignorant things to say:

Aww, he is not Autistic that is just the new diagnosis du jour.

Oh, Jenny Mccarthy knows how to cure Autism you know.

you are just letting him act that way.

By the way morons, he is smarter and more thoughtful and analytical than you could ever hope to be. Be nice to him he may end up being your neurosurgeon someday.

Tuesday, I am hearing voices and having chest pains...

2008-06-10T21:22:00.000+08:00

I am not particularly money or savings conscious so it was a strange new sensation while filling my beloved jeep with gas and upon seeing the total cost I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Holy fuck!

The book selection at stop and shop is horrible! If you don't like romance novels, chick lit or weird touchy feely Chicken soup for the eczema riddled, asthmatic, divorced mom of 3 soul...you are shit out of luck.

I now have two exercise tapes staring at me from beneath their cellophane wrappers in my kitchen. They taunt me when I am cooking dinner, "cmon fat girl crack me open and lets do some kick boxing."

Shut up Billy Blanks! I am busy!

Billy stares back at me with a mix of pity and loathing.

Smaller is better extrasolarly speaking

2008-06-10T09:52:00.000+08:00

Smaller is better because smaller planets are more likely to resemble Earth. So discovery of the smallest known extrasolar planet, announced today at the June meeting of the American Astronomical Society in St. Louis, Missouri, comes as good news. "It gives us hope of finding lots of habitable planets," says astronomer Sara Seager of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Cambridge, who was not involved in the discovery.

It was discovered by microlensing. Microlensing monitors for subtle brightening of far distant stars as a relatively nearby star passes in front of them. The nearer star's gravity can slightly bend,or lens, the background star's light toward Earth, temporarily brightening it. If a planet circling the nearer star also lines up and bends some starlight, the network picks up a secondary brightening.

Astronomer David Bennett speaking for the consortia, announced the microlensing discovery of a planet just three times the mass of Earth. Most of the 300 or so known extrasolar planets are many times the mass of Jupiter, or thousands of times the mass of Earth. The newly discovered planet, which the team is referring to as MOA-2007-BLG-192L, orbits its star at 70% of the sun-Earth distance. That means the planet probably formed with lots of ice and gases, Bennett said, more like Neptune in composition than Earth.

Super cool!I summarized this from article http://sciencenow.sciencemag.org/cgi/content/full/2008/602/1

He flipped me for real!

2008-06-09T09:12:00.000+08:00

The kids went away thursday and came home sunday.I did a few fun things, a few practical ones. I got my tattoo recolored because my constant sunbathing had leeched the ink out of it.

Had lots of wine with my best friend who is always able to cheer me. For us it was a pretty tame night however at one point when I was out on my deck my golden retriever inexplicably decided to ram into me, effectively flipping me, I went over him in my high heels and somehow landed all of my weight on one knee and one cheeckbone. Fuck did that hurt! I have a nice bruise on my face too, so pretty.
It always feels so sordid when best friend sneaks out of my house for work and just leaves me a note. I asked her if it feels like a walk of shame and she said it does.

Did domestic chores saturday and also squeezed in trip to girl heaven, pocketbook store. Found a nice new scent by baby phat called Goddess and saw a summer straw bag that I adore, but it costs the same as two of my science textbooks so I had to leave the poor darling behind.I will miss you and think of you often.

I tackled my new weber grill with some nice applewood chips and made burgers for dinner.I am still not good at getting the coals to catch quickly enough as I am loathe to use lighter fluid. It makes food taste like shit and I refuse to use it!My grill my rules. By then Jefferson and Jordan were home and they caught me balling up coloring book pages and tossing them into grill. "No Mom don't burn Diego and Ninjae Turtles"..Whoops.

Then I started doing my homework which involved videos of the digestive tract, right after eating a big old cheeseburger..ugh, not a good idea.

Unbeatable Banzuke

2008-06-09T01:27:00.000+08:00

http://www.g4tv.com/unbeatablebanzuke/videos/20060/Unbeatable_Banzuke_Stilts_Walk.html

My son is obsessed with this show. It is pretty entertaining actually and I love listening to my son correctly pronounce all the Japanese contestants names. I have no idea how he does it.

Jordan

2008-06-08T04:30:00.000+08:00

Ballet lesson

2008-06-06T11:43:00.000+08:00

I brought my 3 year old daughter to her first ballet lesson. Sitting in the studio brought me right back to being a little girl. The pleasant squeak of the ballet shoes on the floor. The soothing tap tap tap, of each pointed toe hitting the ground.

The music geared towards toddlers had very pronounced beats and rhythms to help the girls learn how to count the music, and time their movements.Watching these tiny girls find poise and pride in how they hold their arms and feet. They were so endearing as they fluttered their skirts and hopped and galloped across the room. They looked like little foals learning to walk.

There is nothing more beautiful and feminine to me than the flutter of a woman's arm in a ballet position.It was such a reminder of a simple pleasure, dancing to music, finding your own center and learning how to move your body in a graceful way.

Organ ambulance

2008-06-06T10:16:00.000+08:00

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24990186

This raises some interesting questions ethically. I think they will encounter a lot of resistance if they try to implement this program.

Don't mess with me or my coach bag

2008-06-06T08:15:00.000+08:00

I just realized I have a pretty good marketable skill, I can carry a 40 pound child in one arm, a 29 pound child in the other, in high heels and not drop my coach bag. I wish I had a picture of it to prove it though. I wonder if I would be any good at Unbeatable Banzuke.

Yes I am also happy I didn't drop the children either.

I received one of those bored at work surveys that had one question I liked. What song should they play at your funeral? Not a tough one at all for me.

Brick House by the commodores

I mean if I have to die, at least play some good funk for me.

Angelina

2008-06-06T04:10:00.000+08:00

I surprisingly do not have a girl crush on her. As an artist I am fascinated by how beautiful her features are and how well she photographs. I am also drawn to her blunt honesty and ability to be herself and not care how she is perceived by others. I feel a kinship with her in this way. She does not apologize for who she is and is guided by her own compass. I think a lot of actresses would crumble if they were scrutinized to the level that Angelina is.

I also like her tattoos because they are personal and just for her.

Goals for summer

2008-06-05T08:08:00.000+08:00

Goals for summer:
Learn to throw a javelin
Learn a new language, or at least be able to talk dirty in another language
Read a few non medical/nursing books
quit smoking AGAIN (I quit for 7 years and started again, because I am stupid)
Go to a vineyard, have never been to one
create enough painting to have a show somewhere
be still (this will be the hardest one next to javelin)
learn to swing a gold club

Tuesday Observations

2008-06-04T11:08:00.001+08:00

I will be sans children the entire weekend. If I am home blogging instead of having fun, it will be very sad evidence that I need a fresh air intervention.

Sometimes I don't see the writing on the wall, even when it is in bold text and flashing at me.

Even when work is really stressful I still have fun. Bravado and bullshit works wonders, as does the mute button and sign language. I work with the most amazing people and I am so greatful for them.

I had to use the handicaped bathroom stall today and even in heels can't touch the floor. it made me feel like Edith Ann..and that's the truth.phhhhhbbt.

sock monkey

2008-06-04T07:56:00.000+08:00

I am a redhead on the inside

2008-06-03T05:36:00.000+08:00

I am happiest when my hair is red. My family hates it red so sometimes I change it back to brown. I dunno, I think I am a readhead on the inside.

Shoegasm

2008-06-02T09:17:00.000+08:00

from Kelly's suburban dictionary, SHOEGASM becoming sexually exited by the sight of hot overpriced shoes.

Supplement Charlatans

2008-06-01T22:19:00.000+08:00

Trace Minerals.com an analysis of the products vs. scientific evidence

The first claim that grabs me off the bat is the one that states through soil erosion trace minerals are being taken from the soil and being swept into the sea. This now compels you to buy supplements derived from the ocean to replace these essential minerals. Here is the scare pitch:

The complexity of the mineral imbalance problem is apparent. It is apparent that our understanding of the mechanisms of mineral imbalances is fragmentary. New inter-relationships are constantly being discovered. We are presently recognizing and correcting only a small fraction of the mineral imbalance problems plaguing animals and man. 5*5.Hoekstra, W.G. Federation Proceedings. National Academy of Sciences: Washington D.C. (Sept./ Oct., 1964).

The complexity of the mineral balance problem is apparent? Mineral imbalances are plaguing animals and man? No studies to back this scary statement up. As a matter of fact no normal American that follows the Dietary guidelines for Americans has any risk of having a vitamin deficiency. The main groups of Americans that are malnourished are the obese population.

This plays into the new marketing technique of why Americans are so unhealthy. It is not because we sit all day, eat fast food and do not exercise, it is because of over aggressive farming, soils erosion and mineral imbalances. The solution is not to eat healthy foods, since trace minerals.com alleges that over use of fertilizer is robbing our foods of essential nutrients. We can blame someone else and get the quick fix solution to what ails us.

The other claim made is that if the minerals we intake do not have the proper ionic charge they cannot be properly absorbed? I spoke with Dr. John Snider M.D a medical internist and teacher at Tufts Medical School and after he stopped laughing he told me this is false and that the small intestine will absorb minerals without you worrying about how ionically charged they are. I have been unable to find any reliable medical sources indicating that this is backed up with any science.

The trace minerals once abundant in our soils are gone because of "overaggressive farming" whatever that means. The site claims synthetic fertilizers are only good for plants and are missing elements humans need. Fertilizer is fertilizer; it enriches the soil causing plants to grow. There are no scientific studies I can find linking synthetic fertilizer with less nutritious crops. Here is a quote from quack watch:

Plants convert natural fertilizers into the same chemicals that synthetic fertilizers supply. The vitamin content of a food is determined by its genetic makeup Stephen Barrett, M.D.
Victor Herbert, M.D., J.D.
The Traceminerals.com has a clever pitch, peppered with scare tactics with enough medical word thrown in to sound pseudo- intellectual, but with no real data other than the articles written by the founder Dr. Meltis who is not an MD but a Naturopath.

The phenomenon of quick fix, take a pill, blame someone else that is pervasive in our culture is a gold mine for the supplement charlatans. We are willing to spend untold mounts of money to ensure our longevity. The fact that the ads also lay the blame elsewhere is a particularly appealing marketing technique.

Estrogen overload and I liked it

2008-05-31T20:51:00.000+08:00

So my girlfriend wanted to go see the Sex and the city movie, and I needed some good cheer and wine so I agreed to go with her with only marginal expectations.

OK, I am entering somewhat unfamiliar territory here. I am normally uninterested in chick flicks and chick lit and anything that seems to pander to women being shoe obsessed man haters. However I did watch sex and the city for the first few seasons I thought it was a riot.I did see one man in the theatre with a date, poor thing. I sincerely hope she gave him some sexual favors afterwards, that is if he could find his balls after watching this movie.

This movie was cute, kind of a long version of the show. I am well aware the fact that I drank 3 glasses of Pinot Grigio helped me tap into my girly side and like this flick. The shoes were shoe-gasmic! I love looking at stiletto's with the knowledge I would break a leg if I ever tried to wear them.There was a scene of Carrie in heels and a bra and panties in her closet and she has the most amazing bod I have ever seen.They all looked pretty good 4 years later. The clothes were over the top and fun to look at.My verdict? This is a delicious girly confection of shoes, purses, glamour and romance.

I will try to balance my chi by seeing Iron Man next weekend.

Suck it Autism

2008-05-30T23:32:00.001+08:00

Jefferson tests in the gifted range and is now showing social skills, empathy and safety skills. Ahem,
Suck it Autism

Rachel Ray is a terrorist

2008-05-29T11:10:00.001+08:00

From MSNBC
Dunkin' Donuts pulled a television spot featuring talk show host and Food Network personality Rachael Ray this weekend after a Fox news commentator associated it with terrorists.

In the ad, Ray is wearing a scarf that Michelle Malkin said in her nationally syndicated column resembled a kiffiyeh, Middle Eastern garb that is "popularized by Yasser Arafat and a regular adornment of Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos."

Dunkin's Senior Vice President for Communications Margie Myers issued a statement saying the scarf "was selected by a stylist for the advertising shoot. Absolutely no symbolism was intended.

"However, as of this past weekend, we are no longer using the online ad because the possibility of misperception detracted from its original intention to promote our iced coffee."

In her column, Malkin also noted that it could appear at times that actor Colin Farrell, rapper Kanye West and Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean have been photographed in similar scarves that were "distinctive hate couture."

I used to know everything

2008-05-27T20:59:00.000+08:00

I used to be so sure of everything. As I get older I become less certain and more open to ideas and opinions I would have immediately rejected 15 years ago. I see this in other friends who are much younger than me, the arrogance and righteous indignation when you do not agree with them. It always makes me chuckle because that was me at one time. I wanted to save the world, and if you didn't you were an asshole.I still want to save people, only now I want to be paid a lot of money to do it. I also now recognize that some people are not capable of giving without it killing them and leaving an empty husk.

People should take the time to assess what they are good at, embrace it, revere it. Your talents are sometimes the only tools you have to survive.I have an ability to comfort people and make them laugh. It took me a long time to realize this is a talent and something I should be grateful for. I have a huge capacity to love and a lack of embarrassment in telling those I love how I feel. I have found this is actually pretty rare as my friends are sometimes astonished when I tell them I love them.

I have worked taking care of mentally challenged adults and when people would say oh, you are so good to do that, it would kind of weird me out. I enjoyed it and was good at it, end of story. These people I cared for were lovely, different and never boring. I can't say as much for a lot of mentally typical people I know.

I have held the hands of patients who were dying and I am able to do it with enough feeling to make it important, but enough distance so it does not turn me into a ball of jelly. This is my talent and my calling. I talk to people at work every day who are crying and grieving and it is so easy to give them a measure of kindness and sympathy instead of being a fucking drone and rattling off how they can cancel the account. Sometimes a small measure of kindness is the only thing that person will remember of that day.

I may not be an eloquent blogger, or a genius, but I know what I can do and I will try to become as good at it as I possibly can.

where would I be without comedy

2008-05-27T09:35:00.000+08:00

I have been looking up jokes lately to entertain a friend and as I sift through all of the jokes and comedians I started to realize how important comedy is in my life.

My taste in comedians is always changing. As a teenager I loved Sam Kinneson's assessment of being in love is like driving your car into a brick wall at 90mph.. I also loved eddie Murphy, George Carlin and Howie Mandel.Dave Chapell is amazing and makes my stomach hurt from laughing. I have seen so may live shows in boston, many famous, some newbies. One fella I saw 12 years ago did this weird interpretation of a gay snake that I can still see when I close my eyes and it still makes me laugh.

Later I started to like Andy Kauffman, his interest in generating laughter, hatred and uncomfortable silences intrigued me. Steven wright and Mitch Hedburg also became obsessions of mine.I love jokes that cannot be told by anyone else, it makes them so much more special. You need to see the face, hear the cadence, feel the rhythm.

I often tell very bad jokes, puns to my friends and I have to admit when they roll their eyes or sigh, or yell at me, it does make me happy.They also like to forward baed jokes to me saying, Here is a Kelly joke if I ever saw one.

My friends know if they come over and I am watching Caddy Shack or best of Chris Farley that I am self-medicating. It is the fastest way for me to feel good. watch Farley hike up his pants and sloppily splash though a coffee table, go on I dare ya not to laugh.

Darth Spogebob

2008-05-26T22:09:00.000+08:00

Bored observations

2008-05-26T04:10:00.000+08:00

people that make me uncomfortable rarely seem to catch on to that fact, there is a balance between good eye contact and scary rabbit boiling eye contact

my new tanning salon plays really bad music

my caviar tastes are wreaking havoc with my walmart budget

if I am at a bar watching a sox game and I ask you to move your big head, I am NOT flirting with you..I am smiling so you wont feel bad about having such a big head.

I make really good art when I am under stress

Desert ipod choices

2008-05-25T11:33:00.000+08:00

I am guessing it is passe to say desert island discs since the ipod has taken over. I have a very weird addiction to mine. It talks to me, tells me when it is bored and hungry. It speaks with a Transylvanian/Mae West accent.

I digress,the songs I MUST have in my ipod as I suntan in isolation for the rest of my life.

work it missy elliot
stigmata minstry
killing in the name rage against the machine
chocolate jesus tom waits
drown smashing pumpkins
if i aint got you alicia keys
doll parts hole
fish on primus
cherub rock smashing pumpkins
brick house the commodores
milkshake kellis
99 problems jay z
gossip folks missy elliot
girlfriend in a coma the smiths
beds too big without you the police
moon over bourbon street sting
where have all the cowboys gone paula cole
enter sandman metallica
cherish madonna
sabotage beastie boys
disintigration the cure

Something so wrong feels so right

2008-05-25T05:07:00.000+08:00

Now that I have your attention, I am referring to Hillary Clinton stepping knee deep into a swamp of shit.I wonder if someone jabbed her with a syringe of sodium pentathol right before that statement, forcing her to vocalize her inner evil voice.

I have to take my own truth serum here, I am THRILLED to have the world see what kind of a human Hillary really is. It may be petty and bipartisan of me but whatever.
It is my blog and I can gloat if I want to.

If you love Hillary you can email me direct at bitemydutchass.com

Fear

2008-05-24T01:05:00.000+08:00

Fear is such a small word when it encompasses so many feelings. Fear and grief climb and wind their way through your belly, burning and churning with bile. Hands and feet go numb and clumsy. Fear takes away logic and gravity..stumbling for footing, or just falling to the floor for a moment.

Animals can feel and smell fear, us humans included. We sometimes try to deny the truth, shake it off but fear can be one clingy beast.

My most recent work May 2008

2008-05-23T08:22:00.000+08:00